INTRO: AMIR: Hey, you're watching Jake and... me. JAKE: So you forgot your own name? AMIR: For like a second! [Jake and Amir are sitting at their desks. Amir is drinking a glass of water while plugging his nose.] JAKE: It'll get easier. AMIR: Ugh it's so clear and watery! JAKE: Well it's water. AMIR: Yeah, well that doesn't explain why it's clear, does it, ya dumb fuck!? JAKE: Actually it does. AMIR: Oh, gosh. (Amir tries to hide what he's doing as he pops open a can of Coca Cola and pours a bit into the glass of water, but fails.) JAKE: Ok I can see what you're doing. AMIR: Yeah, and seeing is believing, so,, and then when you believe, not at the same time as you see,-- JAKE: Alright, you know what, never mind; I'm too tired for this today, man. AMIR: Wanna know what to do? JAKE: No. AMIR: Drop a pencil, right? And when you go to pick it up, (tilts his head onto his palm and closes his eyes to mime sleeping) AEH! JAKE: (imitating Amir) AEH! What's aeh?-- AMIR: AEH!-- JAKE: What is aeh!? AMIR: Sneak in a quick nap!-- JAKE: Finish your-- finish your sentences! AMIR: Sneak in a quick nap. JAKE: That's a really really dumb idea. AMIR: Yeah, well if it's so dumb I do it all the time, and.. nobody notices. JAKE: Everybody notices. AMIR: Impossible. JAKE: You know sometimes you're down there for like three hours! AMIR: Yeah, right, it's like a second. JAKE: It seems like that to you because you're the one sleeping. AMIR: Exactly! JAKE: Exactly. (Amir smiles at Jake, thinking he got him, but then his expression turns to confusion.) AMIR: ......wat? JAKE: Since you're asleep, time passes quickly for you, but to everybody else, it seems like a legit three hours. AMIR: No... JAKE: ...Yeah. AMIR: (Putting his hands to his head in desperation) No. Oh, fuck me. JAKE: You know sometimes you're down there just laying there like this with your eyes open! (putting his hands behind his head) AMIR: Ok I'm relaxing! JAKE: I know you're relaxing, we're not debating that. AMIR: You know what, I can't have this conversation right now, okay? I'm tired. JAKE: ..Fine. AMIR: (looking down as if about to pick something up off the floor) Uhh, oops. JAKE: You didn't drop anything. (Amir is asleep, leaning back in his chair.) JAKE: No more hiding under the desk, right? AMIR: (sleep-talking) AHhnno. JAKE: (to himself, since Amir is asleep) Okay. END.