Amir: Welcome sheeple you're watching Jake and Amir. Jake: Really nice. Amir: They believe everything. Amir: My V card. Jake: Awesome. Amir: Only this one means I'm not a virgin. Jake: Not really. Amir: I'm vaxxed. I'm waxed and I'm unmasked. Jake: Oh my god, your breath. Amir: I had dal. That's not fair to me. I had dal for lunch. Jake: It's good you got vaccinated. All right? I'm glad you're making at least some progress. Amir: I wouldn't say I got vaxxed at all. Jake: Leave it on. Amir: I actually ganked this from a ZVS. Jake: CVS. Amir: ZVS, actually. I'm just, I need to do my own research with regards to the vaccine, though I did get a Brazilian yesterday, so the waxed comment was in line. Jake: Scientists did the research. Okay, vaccines are good. What research do you feel like you can accomplish? Amir: Magnets? Much? Jake: Huh? Amir: I saw a pretty interesting news article/alt-right TikTok reel that said… Jake: So it's the second one, not slash. Amir: …people who were—Let me finish, because this is that sort of disinformation shit that they don't want you to know about. So this tween was kind of magnetized at the thought of getting vaccinated, which doesn't seem legal. Jake: Magnets are illegal? Amir: Are they? Jake: I'm repeating what you said. Amir: That's interesting. I'm gonna add it to my research. Do you have a pen? Jake: A tissue. Why do you think your research is going to be better than actual scientists? Amir: That's actually interesting you should ask. My waxer, Mateo— Jake: Already, never mind. Tell you what, what are your thoughts on masks? Amir: Liberal. Elitist. Need to do my own research. Jake: Lockdown? Amir: Un-American. Currently holding a pretty interesting science experiment with regards to it. Jake: COVID? Amir: Fake. But ultimately bad. I have a hypothesis I need to test and a double-blind study to run at the lab about it. Jake: Perfect. So you don't want to wear a mask. Amir: That's right. Jake: Or get vaccinated? Amir: Magnets, yeah. Jake: But when that causes people to die... Amir: Fake. Maybe. Need to do research. Jake: You think lockdown is bad? Amir: Un-American, yeah. According to my findings so far, but I'm totally willing to listen to the science that I conduct with research in regards to the mask and the vax. Jake: Perfect. And out of curiosity, did you have COVID? Amir: I had COVID, 19 times. Jake: Put your mask back on. Amir: You turd of herd immunity? Jake: Huh? Amir: Well, this is ya herd of turd immunity. Jake: You said, \"You turd of herd immunity.\" And then you said you, this is turd, you said— Amir: —turd immunity. Jake: Sloppy. Can you not turd yourself? Amir: Doodying myself for science, for the research basically. Jake: No, for the pun, which was awful. Amir: Oh my god. This is research. Jake: No, it's not. Amir: I'm fucking fill my shorts with data. Jake: I should have never come back here. Amir: To what?