[Jake and Amir are sitting at their desks. Amir is using his cell phone.] AMIR: Uhhh, just texting... texting texting texting. (Jake ignores him.) AMIR: Jake. Texting. JAKE: Yup. AMIR: Texting. Is this thing on? JAKE: Cool. AMIR: I'm texting. JAKE: Got it. AMIR: Using T9.. (silly inarticulate voice) the terminator. JAKE: What? AMIR: Sorry if my texting is bothering you.. JAKE: Your TALKING is bothering me. AMIR: Sorry, then I'll just sit here and text, I shall tiaxt. (high-pitched voice) TIAXT WITH MY DIA-- JAKE: Don't! AMIR: Okay. I'm texting my Twitter-, though. I'm texting my Twitter account-- JAKE: You got a Twitter? AMIR: Don't act so shocked, you ****************** (three seconds of bleep). JAKE: That was unnecessarily mean. AMIR: Sorrow. JAKE: Do you even know what a Twitter is? AMIR: (rapping) Let me explain, in a way, you understand, it's a place that-- JAKE: I'll understand words. AMIR: Alright it's an online place that you keep your secrets. JAKE: How's that? AMIR: Basically you like text a website, and it privately stores your information online, like in a lock,, like an online lock box,, like a lock box,, like a loc- Jake remember Alfred Gore? JAKE: Albert Gore. And I think Twitter's actually-- AMIR: Actually what? JAKE: ...Actually a great way to keep your secrets. Good call, good call. AMIR: Would you say it's the best call ever? JAKE: No.. AMIR: Well would you say that it's the best call ever right now? JAKE: What's your Twitter's name? AMIR: Doy-hickey! jakeandamir. JAKE: Right, you use that for everything. AMIR: For sure. JAKE: Not.. saying it's a good thing. AMIR: But you're saying that it's a thing. JAKE: ...I guess. I don't,, what does it matter if it's a th- yeah it's a- obviously-- AMIR: Just shut your fat lips and tell me how to spell wenis! END. OUTRO: JAKE: w AMIR: Slow DOWN! END.