(Amir sneaks up from behind on Jake and takes a picture.) JAKE: God damn it. All right, that's your one weird picture for the month, all right? Look at me. You understand? That's it. AMIR: Truth or dare? JAKE: No. AMIR: Who would you most want to meet and... Jake. JAKE: If you're asking me seriously-- AMIR: Why? JAKE: My mom's dad, because I never got to meet him-- AMIR: Name. JAKE: John, his name is John. AMIR: John, that's beautiful. Next question: what is my general interests? JAKE: OK, what are you even doing? AMIR: Why would I answer your questions, if you won't even answer mine? JAKE: I don't know what your interests are, what did you do last night? (Amir addressing a crowded room) AMIR: All right, basically everyone's here because they replied to the Craig's List ad, right? Here's the situation. I have a best friend named Jake. How are we going to get him to admit that I'm his best friend in front of other people? You know? Taking the next step. GUY IN CROWD: Where's our $50? AMIR: (sighs) Where's our $50, where's our $50? I knew you'd bring that up! (back in office) AMIR: I don't know, chilled with some peeps. I-I met some new dudes or whatever. JAKE: OK, so say that, say meeting new people. Even though I know that's a lie! AMIR: Pshh, favorite music. (high pitched) Easy! Jake? JAKE: Is it easy or are you asking me? AMIR: It's easy because I'm asking you and we have the same tastes but you have to spell it for me. JAKE: OK, um, I really like Billy Joel and you spell that (they begin talking over each other) I space A-M- AMIR: Slow down, slow down- JAKE: space R-E- AMIR: Slow down, slow down- JAKE: T-A-R- AMIR: Slow down, slow down- JAKE (and AMIR): D-E-D. AMIR: That's how you spell your name. JAKE: Uh-huh. AMIR: Movies, television, books. In order, go. JAKE: Just google it, OK? Google it. AMIR: All right. Clicking submit. Myspace profile made. Time to meet some babe magnets. JAKE: That's guys. AMIR: Or lesbians. JAKE: (sighs) OK. AMIR: Boom! All right everybody emergency meeting. Listen up! Myspace.com/amirjake open for business, add me as a friend or you're gay. ROSIE: Amir! You're gay! Right, Jake? JAKE: (sighs) AMIR: Nothing right? JAKE: I'm not getting involved. AMIR: I'm going home. I'm going home then. JAKE: You're not wearing any shoes. AMIR: I know... JAKE: OK, it's raining. AMIR: I SAID I KNOW! THE END. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riZSQnkOWDw