INTRO: AMIR: Hey, you're watching Goodwill Hunting, starring Denzel Washington. JAKE: Wow, you are so wrong. [Jake flushes the urinal he was using and walks over to begin washing his hands in the sink. He looks in the mirror and sees Amir in a stall asleep on the toilet with the door open. He walks over to Amir.] JAKE: Hey. (Amir remains asleep. Jake kicks the toilet paper holder on which Amir's head rests.) JAKE: Hey! (Amir wakes up.) AMIR: AAAaaahhhwwwwazzaapp? JAKE: Not too much, you fell asleep while you were taking a s***. AMIR: (putting on his glasses) Nah. I'm good. JAKE: Well you were on the toilet, and you were sleeping, so. AMIR: So yeah, I can see why you'd think that, based on all this (gesturing around). JAKE: Why is the door open? AMIR: Door is open because I um... (makes a door-closing gesture)... Alright FINE I was asleep, ok you caught me! JAKE: Yeah I know you were asleep, but thank you for being honest on your second try; doesn't explain the door. AMIR: Jake, ok, I'm sorry, it's too early for this. JAKE: It's four in the afternoon. AMIR: Yes, well the door is open because I fell asleep before I got a chance to close it, ok? JAKE: Ok, yeah, closing it should be the first thing you do, though. AMIR: Yeah, it was going to be, but I (makes a snoring noise) zonked out. JAKE: Ya zonked out, well you had time to take your pants off, so I know you're lying. AMIR: (smiling) Ya caught me again. You BASTARD! Hahaha, you're on today! (Extends his arm for a high five.) JAKE: Don't.. try to touch me. It's not even that I'm mad. It's just that we were about to start a meeting, you excused yourself, you said I'll be back in one second, and I asked you where you were going, and you said I'm going to get everybody treats. AMIR: Oh, no, the treats. JAKE: Nonono, don't.. worry about that. It's just, Ricky said that he didn't think it was such a good idea, and then you winked at him (Amir winks), and you said (in a silly voice) trust me, when I get back with these treats, it's gonna be a good idea, (Amir mouths the words along with Jake) and then he said Trust me, it's not, and then you said I will be back in thirty seconds, forty-five tops (Amir mouths the words), the treats are on my desk, I just forgot to bring them to the meeting. And that was forty-five minutes ago. AMIR: Yes, that's because it's better to ask for forgiveness, than for permission. JAKE: Well you already asked for permission and he said no, so now you have to ask for both. AMIR: Ok. Just wipe me and we can go, please. JAKE: Sure, do you want me to wet the toilet paper?-- AMIR: Yes, please wet the toilet paper-- JAKE: Are you f***ing crazy, you think I'm gonna wipe you? END.