INTRO JAKE: Hey, you're watching- AMIR: Whoahwhoahwhoah let me guess. Cougartown. JAKE: Wrong. AMIR: Sexy. AMIR: (scratches thighs and moans, in moany voice) My thighs are burning! JAKE: Jesus! AMIR: It looks like someone spilled a smoothie or something on my groin and knees. JAKE: K, just try not to think about it, Ok, 'cause I don't wanna think about it. AMIR: I'm trying not to think about it- Whoa. Your birthday's on a Monday. JAKE: Ok. Is it? AMIR: (chuckles) Kinda sucks, 'cause it's like, do you do something the Friday before? Or like, do you do it at a club? JAKE: I don't know, man, it's like six months away. AMIR: No, haha, no! No, your birthday in 2011. JAKE: Wow, so that's even worse. AMIR: Is on a Monday, yeah. So I got this new calender thing, I'm just trying to fill 'er up. JAKE: Fill 'er up through 2011? AMIR: (laughs) I'm just gonna pencil in Friday and Saturday, that way if you want to do something, like a me-only thing on a Friday- JAKE: (interrupting) Definitely not. AMIR: We can do that and then on Saturday you can have, like, a, open it up to a bigger crew, we can go to, like a club, or like have a barty or something. JAKE: A barty? AMIR: Yeah, like a barty, like a bar-party- JAKE: (while Amir is rambling) Party at a bar? Like you invite people to a bar-party? AMIR: (rambling and mumbling barty nonsense) JAKE: (while Amir is rambling) Ok, you know what, no, Amir! Hey. Hey, hey, hey look! look! look! I don't even know what I'm doing this year for my birthday! AMIR: Oh, I do. (laughs) JAKE: You do? AMIR: Yes, well nothing is set in stone. I still have to call the mason. (laughs) No, but, um, I think we're taking a cruise. JAKE: Yeah, I think we're not. AMIR: Yeah, I think we might be. JAKE: We're definitely not. AMIR: We are! Ok, and as soon as you find out where we're going, you're gonna be changing your tune. JAKE: Where are we going? AMIR: Unsure. JAKE: Did you say that, knowing you didn't know where we were gonna go, when I asked you where we were gonna go? AMIR: (confused face) What? JAKE: I'm kinda confused too, let's just, let's just drop it. AMIR: Deal. Let's just drop it. (singing) Drop it like it's hot, drop, drop it like it's hot. JAKE: (quietly joining in) Drop it like it's hot. AMIR: 2014, are you thinking a spring wedding? Because I'm looking at a bunch of bed-and-breakfast places, and, most of them are avail. Oh, scratch that. They all are. And speaking of scratching it. (moans and scratches thighs) THE END