INTRO JAKE: Happy Thanksgiving from Jake and Amir! AMIR: N-n-no don't say my name; it's only from you! JAKE: Come on... (Jake walks into an office where Amir has set up his Thanksgiving feast) JAKE: ...Ah... AMIR: Ta daaaa! (Jake nods unsure of what to say) AMIR: Uh...okay, so before you freak out, I-I just remembered that you said you had no place to go for Thanksgiving, so I figured, "what the heck? Let's have Thanksgiving in the office", huh? Just us two. JAKE: I don't know what to say, Man...I never said I wasn't going home for Thanksgiving. AMIR: I know, I know, I know, I know! It's not (air quotes) "Thanksgiving" yet and it's not even dinner time! JAKE: I am going home for Thanksgiving, for the whole weekend; my train leaves in like, two hours. AMIR: So whadayou say, huh? We could eat, bicker like a real family, what hell, I'll even say grace! (Joins hands together to pray) JAKE: (Checks turkey) Yeah, turkey's not even cooked a little. AMIR: But, it's not uncooked. JAKE: It is. AMIR: What do you mean? JAKE: It's uncooked. AMIR: How? JAKE: It's still in the wrapping. AMIR: Oh it's...yeah. JAKE: I mean you have to bake it. AMIR: (Single clap) That's what I'm talkin' about! Let's cook this bird! (Picks up turkey) JAKE: Ouu wow, dripping a little bit. AMIR: Yeah, it's blood. JAKE: Hey...do you have anywhere to go? AMIR: Yeah, the 9th floor; there's microwave up there. Let's nuke this spruce goose! (Chuckles) JAKE: No, I mean, like, for Thanksgiving. Do you have somewhere to go? AMIR: What are you talking about, Man? Come on, get outta the way. JAKE: No, be real with me for a second, okay? Do you have somewhere to go for Thanksgiving? AMIR: Umm... (Swallows and looks at the turkey) No, no, no, not this year. JAKE: Alright, Dude, I'll tell you what. AMIR: What? JAKE: God, I can't believe I'm about to do this. (Amir smiles) (Jake quickly turns around and runs out of the office) AMIR: What are you doing?! (Runs to the door) JAKE: (Locks door) (Talking to Amir though the glass door) I'm sorry I have to lock in this room for the next five days. AMIR: What?! Why?! JAKE: I don't trust you not to show up at my family's Thanksgiving; you've done it every year for the past four years. AMIR: I really thought you were about to invite me. JAKE: I considered it, then I thought better of it. Okay, look, the good news is that you have enough food here to last you through the weekend. AMIR: What?! No I-no I don't okay, it's all bad, it's all bad except for the yams. JAKE: Eat the yams. AMIR: No, I don't wanna eat the yams; I don't like yams! JAKE: Look, eat the yams, alright? I'll be back in five days. AMIR: (Whining) I don't wanna eat the yams! I don't like the yams! (Jake and Amir fist pound through the glass and Jake leaves) I don't like yams, Jake! I wanna come over! Now I have to eat the yams! Now, I gotta eat 'em! The yams! Of all things to eat, I'm stuck with yams! OUTRO AMIR: (Leaning head against glass door) I hate yams. THE END http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60zq1y-TCFI