INTRO: AMIR: Hey, you've reached Jake and Amir; leave a message. JAKE: This isn't your phone. AMIR: Wha'eva. [Amir is in the office's kitchen trying to free his hand from the sink.] (Jake enters and goes to fill a cup from the water cooler.) AMIR: Ahoy!, matey! How goes? heheheheh (cackles in a silly manner) JAKE: What's up. AMIR: Ah, no, just washing.. my.. hands? (as though he's going to say ever heard of it?) heheh JAKE: Cool. Just about done there? AMIR: (in a British (Canadian?) accent) Yea just about done there. Uh, lata'. (in falsetto) See ya! JAKE: I've never seen you wash your hands before. AMIR: Yeah, no, have you? hahah PEACE! blpblpblbpblbp (motorboat noise) JAKE: Are you stuck? AMIR: No, I'm not, so uh, one second, gimme, uh, I'll catch up with you later! Where are you gonna be, by the desk area? (playfully) Get out of here! JAKE: You constantly are following me around, you always want me near you, and now you want me to leave. AMIR: (playfully) I want you to leave! Get out! Get outta here, you! JAKE: Alright, fine, I'm gonna go, man; I'm gonna go to McDonald's. You wanna go to the Dees? Wanna come? AMIR: Ahhh.. Yeah! I do, I do.. aeahh that is why you go and I'll meet you there in five-- bring me a Band-Aid, please? JAKE: Check this out: nuggets. (Places a box of Chicken McNuggets on a shelf above him.) I'll leave them right there for you. Good? AMIR: Ah,, I think I can go a day without.. THE NUGGETS, ahahaha, I'm pretty good without it, toss me them, toss me them to me, toss them to me, because I changed my mind for a second-- JAKE: Ok, so you, you're not stuck, but yet you can't-- AMIR: (yelling) Ok do you want your phone back or not?! JAKE: (now yelling as well) My phone?! What are you doing with my phone?! AMIR: (as though Jake doesn't have a reason to yell) Oh my God relax, I was just checking your voicemail! JAKE: You were checking my voi- I'm not gonna relax, why were you checking my voicemail?! AMIR: (Begins running the water.) Because I'm crazy!, alright, you know that! For two years I've been annoying you and I've been insane, how can you be surprised right now!? JAKE: Ok you want me to start pretending that that's the norm? You're running the water! Why would you be running the water?! AMIR: Yeah it's called floating the phone to the top, ok?! (falsetto) Cream rises, bitch! JAKE: Ok, you're acting like this is my fault! AMIR: Ok, you're acting like this is MY fauAHUAAHAHAhhlt. (yanks his hand free of the sink on accident, it's covered in blood). JAKE: Wanna go to the hospital? AMIR: Yeeaah. END.