[Intro] Amir: [mumbling] Hey you're watching Jake and Amir Jake: Wow, are you ok? Amir: I think I'm gonna throw up [wretches] Jake: Oh no! [Jake and Amir are sitting at their desks, Amir sneezes] Jake: You know if you're sick you should just go home Amir: You'd love that wouldn't you? Jake: Yes [Amir sneezes again] Amir: Well, sorry but I'm not sick, alright? Never have... [silence] Jake: Usually people follow that up with never will Amir: Well you never know right? Jake: But you're definitely sick Amir: Alright, this is what we're gonna do. I'm gonna cough in your mouth, if you're not sick in two days, I was right. If you are sick in two days we'll chalk that up to being a weird coincidence and we'll call it a draw Jake: Okay so there's no way that I'm right? Amir: That's correct Jake: Then why on earth would I let you cough into my mouth? Amir: I am that confident Jake: I'm not questioning your confidence, I'm questioning what you're confident of Amir: Okay, now you're not making sense. Just get over here buttfucker! Jake: Is that from something? Amir: [Shaking his head] I dont know Jake: That makes it so much worse, I'm not letting you sneeze into my mouth Amir: What's the matter Jakey? 'Fraid you won't get sick? Jake: The exact opposite actually Amir: You're... You're not... You are not afraid that you- Jake: You don't know what opposites are that's okay Amir: That's fine 'cos I don't need to know what opposites are Jake: That's technically true though you probably should Amir: Yes well what I don't know, can't kill me Jake: Interesting. Do you know what a heart attack is? Amir: No Jake: Diabetes? Amir: No Jake: Malnourishment? Amir: Definitely not Jake: Three things that can kill you. Malnourishment probably is killing you right no- Amir: Listen, can I just come over there and- Jake: Cough into my mouth? No. Are you crazy? Amir: Oh I bet you think I'm so- Jake: So predictable. Yeah, yeah I do Amir: I wasn't gonna say that Jake: What were you gonna say then? [Long silence, Amir stares ahead without moving] Jake: Did you fall asleep or something? Amir: Buttfucker