INTRO AMIR: ... JAKE: Thought you said you were gonna do this one. AMIR: I'm getting into character. Jake and Amir are sitting across from each other at their desks. Amir is on the phone with his mom, sounding annoyed. AMIR(to his mom): Yes. Yes. Okay. Well I don't love you. Uh, goodbye mother. Amir hangs up the phone. AMIR(to Jake): Ahhh, god! JAKE: You know when you're an adult it's actually not cool to not love your mom. AMIR: Chh, obviously. It's just that she's being extra annoying today, okay, she's trying to set me up with somebody. Jake smiles. JAKE: Okay, yeah, that's always awkward. Who is it? AMIR: Uh, it's like my mom's sister's daughter or some shit. My mom's sister's daughter's friend or something. I don't know. JAKE: Which one? AMIR: It's like I can do fine without your help mother. Amir laughs. AMIR: Don't call me a s- JAKE: Ah, which one is it though. Your mom's sister's daughter or your mom's sister's daughter's friend. Amir laughs. AMIR: What does she? She wants me to call this girl up and be like- Amir does a geeky voice. AMIR: Hi, uh, my mom gave me your phone number, would you like to go on a chocolate dinner with me? Jake: One of those people is your cousin the other would be a family friend. Amir: Yes, exactly. I'm telling you that it's weird. Jake raises his voice a little, getting impatient. Jake: You're telling me it's uncomfortable calling somebody, I'm telling you it's weird to f**k your cousin. AMIR: Yes. JAKE: Yes. AMIR: I know. JAKE: So you know that? AMIR: Yeah. So... JAKE: In this scenario which one of those two people is your cousin? Amir shakes his head smiling. AMIR: My mother's friend. JAKE: That wasn't even an option. Amir gets on his cell phone and calls his mom. He holds a finger up to Jake. AMIR(to Jake): One second. AMIR(to his mom): Hey, mom, hey, hey, hey. Yeah, ah, Jake told me everything you crazy slut. I'M NOT DATING LERON. So. JAKE: I didn't sa- AMIR(to his mom): Oh, also mom, I love you. JAKE: Nice. AMIR(to his mom): So, cool. Amir hangs up the phone AMIR: Uh, yeah, it was mom's sister's daughter's friend. THE END