INTRO AMIR: (Singing The Pink Panther theme song) JAKE: Just say our names! AMIR: It's The Pink Panther theme! (Amir is taking pictures of Jake with a disposable camera) JAKE: (Rolls eyes) Hey can you... (Amir pulls film out of camera) JAKE: You have to develop film, you know? You're destroying it. AMIR: (Unrolling film) Not that you care. JAKE: You know what? I don't, because I don't want a scrapbook. AMIR: (Takes film and wraps it around the book) Not a scrapbook, okay? A memory book. JAKE: You've called it a scrapbook, like, fifteen times since you got here. Look at the cover. (Gestures towards the book) AMIR: Ohhhhhh (Covers the 'Scrap' part of the "Scrapbook" title with his hand) JAKE: That doesn't change what it says. AMIR: Okay, sorry for tying to commemorate your three year, five month, nine week— JAKE: A couple more months then. AMIR: anniversary! JAKE: (Shakes head) Let me see it. (Amir takes film off of book and hands it to Jake) JAKE: (Looking at book) Wow there are baby pictures in here— AMIR: (Sarcasm) Ouuu JAKE: of both of us somehow AMIR: (Sarcasm) Big whoop. JAKE: It is a big whoop, it's a huge whoop; you made us slow dancing. AMIR: Photoshop. JAKE: Jesus, both of our families at Disney Land together? Our dads are kissing! Why would you do that? AMIR: It's funny. JAKE: You in high school with Dane Cook. (Real picture of Amir and Dane Cook is shown in the scrapbook) AMIR: (Making Su-Fi hand sign) The Dane Train! ((Puts hand down) Haha (Brings hand up) Su-fi. JAKE: Why would you even want to include this in my scrapbook? AMIR: Alright, keep flipping and you'll find yourself a chapter two: The Noticed Unoticed. JAKE: Don't narrate it, please. AMIR: Basically, me in the background of all your important life events: your birth, your Bar Mitzvah, your Quinceañera. JAKE: (Flipping though scrapbook) Didn't have a Quinceañera—Oh (Sees Quinceañera picture) I did. AMIR: Yeah. JAKE: Very nice. AMIR: That's at Chili's too. JAKE: In an airport. AMIR: Yeah, LaGuardia. JAKE: Got it. AMIR: Look at that nice pink dress. JAKE: Hey, Man, bad news. AMIR: What? JAKE: New rule: if I flip this next page, you're a nerd. AMIR: (Laughs nervously) ...What? JAKE: Yeah, I just have to flip this next page and you're a nerd. AMIR: So don't do it. (More nervous laughter) JAKE: But I really wanna see the other pictures. AMIR: (Panic) I-k-k-k-k-know, but it's not worth it. JAKE: It's worth it to me. AMIR: No! (Throws film cap at Jake and misses) Hey! JAKE: Hey, hey, hey (About to flip page) AMIR: N-N-N-N-N-NO, NO! JAKE: (Flips page fully) Oh god! You're a nerd now! AMIR: (Facepalming) NO! JAKE: (Flipping page again) Sorry that you're not—(Sees next page and rolls eyes) You Photoshopped a vagina onto yourself and you're masturbating? AMIR: (Takes palm off face) Is that a question or? JAKE: (Slams down scrapbook between their desks) AMIR: So you're just done? JAKE: I'm done! THE END http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1lYb0pTL1M