Jake: Hey, you're watching Jake and Amir. Amir: 3, 2, 1. Hi, you're jo— Uh, you're, oh, sorry. Jake: We already started. Amir: Okay. Jake: All right, let's try this again. Recording the podcast, take two. Amir: Sweet. Should be easy. I like to be relaxed, conversational. I'll insert myself when necessary. Jake: All right, thank you. I'll just take us in. Hey, and welcome to the show. Amir: Should I? What? Jake: Hey, I'm Jake. Amir: I'm pussy, or I'm a pussy. Basically, shout out to the Joe Reagan nation. I'm trying to appeal to the broadest— Jake: Can you relax, please? Amir: Yeah. Jake: Just calm down. Amir: Yeah. Jake: Joe Reagan? Amir: Nation. Jake: Are you done? Are you close to being done? So I'm on the phone. Amir: Should we do any ads? Jake: We don't have any ads. Amir: I actually already sold a spot to my cousin Leron. Pretty good CPM too. Jake: What's a CPM? Amir: Cost per million, ever heard about it? So I get paid $40 every time I mention his laser taggeria to a hundred thousand listeners. Jake: I think your math is way off and you do need to calm down. Amir: I am. Jake: Oh, you want to talk about our weekends? Amir: I'm just going to sit back and wait till you get canceled, man. Jake: You're a bad co-host. Amir: Line. What do I say to that, improv-wise? Jake: Oh, by the way, what did you think of "Dune"? Amir: We should get guests, like famous guests, to raise the bar. Jake: Can you stop doing like production notes mid-episode? All right, save this for in between the episodes. Amir: That's funny. Jake: No, it's not. Amir: Line. Jake: So I go to pick up the order. Amir: Did you like my joke earlier? Jake: What joke? Amir: The one about my name being pussy, or being a pussy or something. Shout out to the Joe Reagan nation. Jake: No, I didn't like that joke. Amir: I'm saying you can have it if you want. The delivery just has to be good. Jake: Okay. Amir: The delivery actually has to be great. Jake: Hey! Oh, we should say don't forget to rate and subscribe. Amir: Don't for rate— hey guys, don't for rate to rate and subscribe. Jake: That's not what I said. Amir: I got it, I got it. Don't for rate to rate, or sorry. 3, 2, 1. We should do a live show. Jake: Of what? Amir: This pod. Jake: We started it fucking 90 seconds ago, okay? And all you've done is say that you're a pussy and try to kill me. The podcast barely exists. Amir: We could sell out MSG, I'm serious. The energy would be insane. Jake: Yeah, it would be insane because you are insane. Amir: Do not say that about me. You know that I'm thin skinned and that I do not own a Garmin. Don't forate to rate like JFK. No, I got it. Ready? Here we go. Don't forget to reply. I'm sorry. 3, 2, 1. Don't forate to rate. Jake: It's fine. Amir: Don't forate, or don't forget to reply. Jake: Subscribe. Amir: To what? Jake: Okay, here, I will just write it down. Amir: Okay. Jake: Just read this. Amir: Don't forate to rate and reply. Jake: Why are you looking away? Amir: Because I'm nervous as shit. You're like judging me right now and it's really starting to freak me out. Jake: I am judging you. Amir: Because I don't have a fucking Garmin. Jake: I'm telling you, man. Amir: Yeah. Jake: We have it already. Amir: I agree. Jake: I said it right. Amir: Okay, let me just get it once for safety. Do not forate don't forget to forate and reply— Now it sounds like just noises. "Don't for rate to rate" Ready? For rate. For rate. For rate. Jake: Sorry, why are you drilling the wrong word into your head? Amir: So I know what to avoid on the day. Ready? Watch this. Don't for rate— Jake: Yeah, I knew what you were going to say. Repeat after me, okay? "Don't" Amir: "don't" Jake: "forget" Amir: "for rate" I feel like I have this brain fart, or my ego won't let me get in the way and it's turning into like a speech impediment somehow because you kept hammering home the Garmin issue. Jake: Let's just throw it away. It means nothing. Amir: Don't forate. Jake come back. I think I'm ready to say it. I think I'm ready to say "Don't forate to rate." Shit!