Jake: Hey, you're watching Jake and Amir. Amir: Hey, I gotta run. Jake: Why? Amir: I am, like, out of breath. Amir: Whoa, overalls. Jake: Whoa, you don't know jack cock, do you? Amir: What are those, then? Jake: You said overalls. I think last time I checked, Mario wore overalls and I'm wearing duck bib overalls. Amir: That's what I said, overalls. Jake: Oh, sorry, I didn't— so stupid, I didn't hear you say \"duck bib\", I thought you said overalls, but I guess I misheard you 'cause you said duck bib overalls from Carhartt? 'Cause that's what they are, Hart, yeah? Amir: Those are Dickies. Jake: Oh, the guy at the mall, fuck me. Amir: I actually like them, I was thinking of getting overalls myself. Jake: I wouldn't advise it, I wouldn't advise it, not after the not so gentle ribbing I received on my way to work. Amir: What do you mean not so gentle ribbing? Jake: I was teased. I was teased within an inch of my life. Amir: How does that work? Jake: Someone called me a fisherman, literally. Amir: That's fine. Jake: What if somebody said to you, \"Hey, Farmer John, why are you on the subway? And not on a tractor?\" Amir: I would be okay with that, I think. Jake: Okay, and what if someone else said to you, \"Hey, buddy, Benjamin Moore called. He wants his painting clothes back.\" Amir: These all seem like pretty immature insults to me. Jake: Then explain why everyone around laughed at me. Amir: Probably 'cause they saw that it pissed you off or something. Jake: I don't get angry easily. Amir: Yes, you do. Why take a fashion risk if you're so thin-skinned? Jake: MrPorter.com says the Spring thing is workwear for upper-middle-class trust-fund kids who have never worked a day in their life. Or was the plumber who fixed my toilet after my teenage cousin upper-decked it, not styling? Amir: Your teenage cousin upper-decked your toilet? Jake: You're missing the point. My aunt has a teenage son. She gave birth at 58. That's... that's miraculous. And there isn't a day that I don't cherish the fact that he's with us. He's not supposed to be here, okay? He's one of my best friends, even though he tortures me. Actually, I bailed him out of juvie last week. I broke him right out. Amir: You're not supposed to do that. Jake: French chore jacket, worker boots, bucket hat, dish gloves, and oh yeah, a tool bag instead of a backpack for my laptop and toiletries. Do you think that makes me a poser? Congratulations! So does everyone else. Oh, how original. Amir: So why do it? You don't like it? Jake: Because a duck-billed bib for this cuck-filled lib makes all the ladies say \"Benghazi was rigged.\" Amir: What? Jake: I acid washed 30,000 emails between me and Hunter Biden. Amir: How much were those? Jake: The emails? I said, like 30,000. Amir: No, how much were the overalls? Jake: $287.99. $287.99. Amir: Right. Jake: But look, I can return them if Pete Davidson stops wearing them. He and I, we're cutting edge. Namaste. Amir: No, he's cutting edge. You're just copying him like two years too late. Jake: Okay, but which one of us fucked Kate Beckinsale? Hmm, riddle me that, Blumenthal. Amir: Him? Jake: Yes, but I can do a copy sloppy with a Kim K or an Emily Rattatan. Amir: Who? Jake: Rattatanas. Amir: Who is that? Jake: I don't know and it doesn't matter. As long as I'm Eskimo cousins with an ex-SNL cast member and the closest you'll ever get is jerking it to fucking We're the Millers. Amir: You're fucking losing it, man. Jake: I'll change.