[INTRO] Jake: Hey, you're watching Jake and Amir. Amir: Oooh, spoiler alert! Jake: Not really. Amir: Okay. Amir: Hey, didn't you say you had, like, a cousin or something who worked at a ticket agency-- Jake: [interrupting] An uncle. Yes. And you asked me about the Dora tickets -- he hasn't gotten back to me-- Amir: [interrupting, now on the phone] Hey, Laila! Hey, it's your Uncle Amir. Hey, uh, remember those tickets I was telling you about earlier? How I said they might not happen? Well, now they definitely are! [laughing joyfully] Yeah! Get excited! Five tickets for the fifth row on your 5th birthday -- it's perfect! Ha, ha -- you know what perfect means? It means guaranteed! Jake: It doesn't mean that. Amir: No, no, it's definitely, definitely happening, so you can start bragging about it at kindergarten. [laughing] Yeah. Uh... a meet and greet? With Dora and Diego? [to Jake, covering the mouthpiece of the phone] Can we swing that? Jake: No! I don't think we can swing that! I don't even think we can swing the tickets! Amir: [to Laila] We'll see about that. No, no, no, okay -- you know what we'll see means? It means guaranteed! So put it in the books! It's gonna happen! Amir: [to Jake] She is going guerilla shit right now, man. She's so happy. I can't thank you enough. Amir: [to Laila] Put your daddy on. Jake: Okay, no. I just went to the Dora website -- the tickets are sold out and they're really expensive, so I don't think my uncle is going to get any at all! Amir: [to Laila's father] Hey, dude. Yeah. No, I can-- I can hear her going friggin' guerilla shit in the background right now. Yeah, I was telling Jake she's hyperventilating. No -- yeah, I know. Yeah -- a lot of broken promises in the he past, I know I'm 0 for 4 on this birthday stuff, man, but you got-- come on! Fifth row for a frickin' Dora Live that's coming through in the clutch plus a meet and greet plus a private tea party with her, after -- just her and Dora and Diego... Amir: [whispering to Jake] Get your uncle on the phone -- we're in deep, man. Jake: [whispering] Why are you doing this?! Amir: [to Laila's father] Alright, that's gotta fucking count for something, man-- look, take me off speaker phone. You know, put my little princess back on. Put my little princess back on -- I wanna make some promises to her. Jake: You're lying to her. Amir: I wanna make some promises to her... that she can definitely count on. Jake: Okay, my uncle just emailed me back -- he said he doesn't work at the ticket agency anymore. He got fired like a month ago. Amir: Yeah -- no, invite whoever you want, okay? Yeah, invite the whole kindergarten class [laughing] All the Sea Otters can go. That's right. You know what sea otter means? It means guaranteed! [FALSE END] Amir: [on the phone with Laila's father] Not at will-call, huh? Um... come to the side door. I'm waiting there for you. I'm waiting at the side door. [waving] Can-- can you see me waving? You're at the side door and you can't see me? Yeah, that's 'cause I'm not there, man, alright? The tickets are not happening -- I'm sorry. I tried my balls off but they were a no go. I don't know, dude -- frickin' take her to a Chuck E. Cheese or something; it's not my 5-- [getting another call and checking his phone] Can I-- let me call you back in, like, five seconds... Amir: [clicking over to new call] Mickey my friend! How are you? [END]