INTRO AMIR - Hey morons, you're watching Jake Amir. JAKE - Don't insult them. AMIR - Sorry, morons (Amir is sitting at is desk with a girl sitting next to him) AMIR: Wow JAKE: Yeah AMIR: I got a girlfriend and she's amazing. It's just like, wow, it's just like this thing I guess, I don't know. JAKE: Well, you two actually do look really happy together. AMIR: That's probably because we are. JAKE: Well, that's good for you. AMIR: So JAKE: Yeah AMIR: Oh, don't take a photo of us and Photoshop a heart around us and send an email to the company with that photoshopped heart picture with the subject Love Birds. JAKE: Each of those steps is something I wouldn't do...let alone together. GIRLFRIEND: 15 more minutes. JAKE: Huh? AMIR: Nothing. JAKE: 15 more? AMIR: Nothing JAKE: How long have you guys been going out, by the way? GIRLFRIEND AMIR: 6 years. JAKE: So you rehearsed this, that's good. AMIR: Ah thank you. JAKE: Ah not a compliment. AMIR: (in funny voice) Ah yes it was. JAKE: Where'd you meet? GIRLFRIEND AMIR: The mall. JAKE: Where'd you go on your first date? GIRLFRIEND AMIR: McDonalds JAKE: How much is he paying you? GIRLFRIEND AMIR: 300 dollars. JAKE: Got you. AMIR: Ha! If you really got us and we weren't in love, would she really know the answer to that last question? No, and you know why, because... JAKE: She left. AMIR: Gorshdamnit (HUH!) AMIR: Yo yo, QQ bro can i borrow 3 hundo tomorrow cuz i'm in a low - JAKE: Yo bro no go i'm a duhny - AMIR: Ha ha don't say no, because i'm in a lot of trouble...yo.