(caption - Mr. Greenawalt's Video Journalism Class Final Project "MY BROTHER JAKE" by Micah Hurwitz) MICAH: (voice over caption) Mr. Greenawalt's video journalism class, final project, my brother Jake, by Micah Hurwitz. (caption - JAKE'S WORK) MICAH: (voice) Jake's work. (in hallway at CH office, you can see Amir sneaking up from behind) JAKE: (to camera) Hey, Hamden Hall, how's it going? Welcome to the Collegehumor office--AGH! (Amir jumps on Jake, pushing Jake to the ground, Amir grabs the camera) AMIR: (to camera) Hey, is this TRL? I want to request Britney Spears new nu-- (Jake is writhing in pain on floor) MICAH: Want help up? (grabs Jake's hand) JAKE: Don't touch me. Don't touch me. (Jake is leaning against wall, falls to one knee) MICAH: Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake. (goes to help Jake) AMIR: (off camera) He's fine. (Jake is sitting in an office chair) JAKE: Mike, sorry, I don't know that this is a good day for it-- MICAH: It's due tomorrow. JAKE: What? MICAH: It's due tomorrow. (caption - JAKE'S FRIEND) MICAH: (voice) Jake's friend. (larger caption appearing over the first - BEST FRIEND) AMIR: (voice) Best friend! AMIR: (to camera) OK, uh, TRL I wanted to request Britney Spears-- JAKE: (off camera) What are you-- AMIR: Let me just, I'm just finishing the joke from last time. JAKE: It was never a joke. AMIR: OK, fine. (to camera) Oops I Did It Again. (caption - Jake's Work Again) MICAH: (voice) Jake's work again. (caption - Maybe we shouldn't do this) MICAH: (voice) Maybe we shouldn't do this. (caption - RELAXITSFINE) AMIR: (voice) Relax, it's fine. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (Jake is still in office chair) JAKE: Why would you do it today then? You have to edit it, right? MICAH: Stop yelling at me! You sound like mom. AMIR: (off camera) OK, OK, come on. Uh, you guys are brothers so I shouldn't get involved but if you talk like that to Jake one more time I'm going to beat the shit-- (Jake and Micah are sat on a couch in the office, Jake is doubled over in pain) JAKE: All right, all right, it's fine. He's not going to hurt you. Let's just, we're going to go to my apartment, I'll give you a tour of that and you're going to get an A and it's going to be great, OK? AMIR: (from behind the couch) Uncle Amir was kidding, he's not really going to hurt you, all right? JAKE: D-Don't fucking call him that, OK? Not--I'm sorry, I'm sorry. He's not mad at you, I'm mad at him. AMIR: Mad at Uncle Amir. (they're exiting the elevator) MICAH: Hold on a second. JAKE: Don't tell me to hold on! (in the lobby) JAKE: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know I didn't mean that. Just, I mean, don't-don't tell me to hold on. (weak chuckle) (caption - JAKE'S HOME practically amirs home) MICAH: (voice) Jake's home practically amir's home. (Jake is lying on the couch) JAKE: Hey, uh Mike, this is where the magic happens. AMIR: (laughing loudly beside Jake) Magic happens, haha, what? Who says that? JAKE: Amir, can I talk to you for one second? (Amir grabs the camera from Micah to hold by Jake's head) AMIR: Sup? JAKE: (softly) I-I need you to treat this delicately, OK? AMIR: (whispers) Whoa, OK. What's up? JAKE: I don't want Mikey to freak out but I think I call to go to the hospital. AMIR: CALL THE FUCKING POLICE! YOUR BROTHER IS GOING TO D-- (caption - The End) MICAH: (voice) The end. (caption - Edited By: Micah Hurwitz) MICAH: (voice) Edited by Micah Hurwitz. (caption - And Co-Edited By: AMIR BLUMENFELD! Amir: And co-edited by Amir Blumenfeld! OUTRO (Blank screen, Limp Bizkit - Rollin' is playing) (caption pops up - Or whateva.) THE END. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vBSJbThSzM