[INTRO] Jake: You're Amir: watching Jake: Jake [PAUSE] Jake: That was your cue! Amir: I know! Karen: So, Community Service Day is just two months away-- Amir: [interrupting] Great! So, we'll see you in a month, like... what? Karen: Well... uh, we still haven't firmed up any locations. Amir: I told you three months ago I was on it. Karen: I know, but the last time I emailed you for a status update, you sent me a video of a monkey who smells his hand and faints. Amir: Yeah. That's because he farted in it. Mark: [laughing] Amir: That's funny to you?! Mark: Isn't it supposed to be? Amir: Am I excused, like...? Jake: We haven't gotten anywhere yet. Karen: Last time we spoke, you said an elephant ride was doable, as a carnival for young kids. Amir: Right. And I stand by that. Mark: My brother-in-law and I have devised a way to steal large animals from circuses and zoos. If you're really certain about this, I can get you an elephant. Amir: Dead or alive? Jake: Alive! Alive, right? Don't do it. But if you do: Alive. Mark: I-I-I-I have to make a call. I'm not sure if I can make this alive thing happen. Karen: What about the mural? Amir: What ABOUT the mural, Kare? Jake: Will you please not snap at Karen? Karen: You said you had been able to procure-- Amir: [interrupting] Yeah, a 200 foot by 10 foot concrete wall -- blank as the night -- ready to be painted by the imaginative fingers of today's youth. Karen: And? Amir: And... I was able to... get one twice as big. Karen: [gasping in surprise] Amir: So... double the kids... on that... Karen. Karen: They are going to be so happy! Jake: He just winked at me, but even if he didn't, I doubt he could have gotten a wall like that. Amir: NARC! Karen: Well, uh... what about snacks? People are going to be hungry. Mark: How does two tons of wet elephant meat sound? Jake: It doesn't sound good, Mark. Mark: I don't want to say how or why, but I have recently come into a surplus of elephant meat. Jake: We know how. Mark: I certainly can't eat all of it -- trust me on that! Amir: What about music, okay? Some phat beats, dope rhymes, things like-- Jake: [interrupting] I'll take care of the music. Amir: I can freestyle for about two and half hours straight. Make your face leak underneath... all that stuff-- Jake: [interrupting] You couldn't freestyle for like ten seconds just now-- Amir: [interrupting] I'm going to get a CD! A frickin' mix cassette tape -- how does that sound for a freestyle? Jake: Those sound like two different things! I'll get a DJ, okay? Mark: Alright. Can we go? Amir: You can go... to jail! For killing and de-tusking an elephant. I mean, how long are we going to stand idly by-- Mark: [interrupting and getting out of his chair to approach Amir] I didn't touch a single tusk! [strangling Amir] Not one tusk! Jake: Hey! Amir: Okay, Karen...? Jake: Come on, Mark! Amir: Karen! I have your wall! I have your wall, Karen! Jake: Karen! Karen! Karen! Karen: No! No! [END]