INTRO Jake: Hey! You're watching Jake and Amir! Amir: Hey! You're watching Jake and Amir! Jake: Good, great job! Amir: Likewise! Amir frantically tries to open the door and start banging on it. Amir: Help! Jake: Push it! Ju--Push it! Amir opens door Amir: Sorry, almost lost my cool there for a second. Jake: You did lose your cool there for a second Amir: Filling out your March Madness Bracket? Jake: Yeah! Amir: I don't know why, it's just a Hallmark holiday right? Perpetrated by the grating card business to sell chocolate! Jake: Perpetuated and greeting were the words you were looking for there, okay? And you're thinking of Valentine's day. Amir: Do you want this chocolate bunny or not? Amir: A long shot to win the whole thing, hmm. Don't mind if I per-due! Jake: I'd prefer if you per-didn't. Amir: Wow.. that was awful. Amir: Hey, how do you spell 'hoops'? Jake: So you're definitely filling out your bracket wrong. Amir: Hmm.. True that. Amir: I-- I'm sorry, you.. you're not funny. There are good jokes and there are bad jokes but that was so... you're not funny. Amir: Aw gorsh damn-nit I spelled 'North Carolina' wrong. Jake: You spelled a lot of things wrong. You know North Carolina's not even in this tournament. Amir: Not this tournament Jake: Exactly. Amir: Yeah. Amir: I'm sorry, if it bends its funny, if it breaks its not funny and you broke it. It's shattered, it's gone, it's... you're not funny. Amir: A sixteen has never beaten a one, yet when i was sixteen... I beat plenty of ones. Jake: Wow. Amir: One-year olds, that is. Jake: No I got it, that's why I said 'wow'. Amir: It's just that comedy is tragedy plus time and your comedy is just tragedy, it stinks, it's bad, it's awful man. Don't premine.. er premine if effor... perfer... Per-forget it, man! I did. It's-- you're done. Amir: Well, you're not rootin' for Kansas anymore, Toto. Jake: laughs Amir: What was that? imitates laughing Jake: I laughed Amir pulls out his phone Jake: What are you doing? Amir: Taking a picture. Do it one more time imitates Jake's laugh again Jake: No. Amir: Alright. Check out this final score tiebreaker: one ninety-nine to six. So.. not likely but if it hits, I'm a genius. Jake: Yeah and you have all fifteen seeds in your final four. Amir: Yeah, it's not likely, but if it hits I'll be-- Jake: You're never gonna be a genius. Amir: Unless it hits... Amir: sings Duke you have the time, to listen to me, Duke? No, I don't to the Duke, no Duke about it! Jake: Please, please don't. Amir: I mean you're trying to come up with jokes, and that in itself is funny like hahahaha but no, man. Don't. Amir: You think its called 'Zero-cuse' University? Because they have zero cuses. Jake: It's called 'Syracuse' not 'Zero-cuse.' Amir: Yeah, my answer stands. Jake: You didn't answer, you asked. Amir: You're obsessed. Amir: sings Sometime I give myself the.. Jake and Amir: Dukes. Amir: Isn't it weird that we do this every year but we never play basketball together? Jake: No. Amir: That's why I propose that we-- Jake: I said it wasn't weird. Amir: Let me finish. That we play basketball together. Oh wait that's not weird anymore Jake: Is that a swastika?! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1B8nGUPwxyE