Intro AMIR: You're watching Jake and Amir. We PIMP's. JAKE: Stick to the script... AMIR: PIMP's. Office [Amir arrives] JAKE: Hey, nine hours late today. AMIR: Mondays... JAKE: Thursday, and why is your shirt soaking wet? AMIR: Laundry day! Ooh, that was hard. JAKE: Was hard... Never act like I'm incorrect. AMIR: Sorry, just that Tuesdays are my laundry day. JAKE: It's Thursday, and you just thought it was Monday. AMIR: Yeah, last Saturday I thought it was Sunday, turns out it was Thursday, how's that for a Tuesday? Talk about the worst Monday ever, Wednesday. JAKE: Start making sense, now. AMIR: I woke up on the right side of the bed this morning in the first time in a calender year. Spotted a pile of laundry, my laundry and dirty clothes and said haahahaa... Not today! JAKE: You said: haahahaa... Not today!? AMIR: That's exactly right. Then I washed it, I dried it, I folded it, and to top that o- JAKE: [Interrupts] I'm gonna stop you right there because you didn't dry it. AMIR: I didn't fold it either, but you're not busting my chops about that are you? You know what your problem is? You bust my chops, and I love you for it. JAKE: I'm not gonna talk to you for the rest of the day I think... AMIR: I'm air-drying okay? Sorry. JAKE: It's 20 degrees outside, do you not feel cold? AMIR: I don't feel anything, Okay. I'm numb... And cold. JAKE: So cold. AMIR: I'm numb though too, numb and cold. So numb that I don't even feel how cold I am. JAKE: Yeah, you're numb because you're cold. AMIR: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true exactly right okay. It's the first time you've ever made a point so legit that I didn't want to punch you in the tits about it. JAKE: Unclench your fist. What are you doing? Chill out, okay? You want to now ha? AMIR: [Punches Jake] Changed my mind. JAKE: Why are you being so agressive right now? AMIR: Maybe becacuse you haven't even complimented me once about washing my clothes. JAKE: You did a bad job. AMIR: I did a good job of washing it, of washing it I said. JAKE: [Smells Amir's shirt] Ooh, no you didn't. AMIR: It's vinegar. JAKE: It's vinegar. AMIR: It's vinegar. JAKE: Why vinegar? AMIR: Why are you not complimenting me, okay. Just because it's vinegar it doesn't mean you're not gonna compliment me. JAKE: It's exactly what it means, yes. AMIR: [Sigh] Here come the waterworks... JAKE: Are you waiting for me to cry, or- AMIR: Yeah I'm waiting for you. JAKE: You're crying. AMIR: You're the one who's about to. JAKE: You're crying. AMIR: It's both of us, look at us crying up here like a bunch of ninnies. [Laughs] Everyone turn back, don't look at us two dudes, two grown men just sharing a beef. JAKE: What are you...What's a beef? AMIR: We're beefing right now. JAKE: No, we're not. AMIR: Yeah, we're having a beef, that's what it's called when two guys just hang out and start crying, they're giving a beef. JAKE: We're not b- AMIR: We're beefing! JAKE: We're not. AMIR: We're beefing! JAKE: You're beefing. AMIR: We're beefing! JAKE: You are beefing. AMIR: We're beefing! JAKE: Oh my god I feel so sorry for you right now. AMIR: We're beefing! JAKE: Allright. AMIR: I'm a beef. CH Outro AMIR: We're beefing! THE END WATCH THE EPISODE