AMIR: OK, uh, just because nobody likes us doesn't mean we shouldn't go out strong tonight. JAKE: All right. AMIR: Hey, listen to me. Tonight is going to be - CRA-ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!! (They are in Jake's apartment) AMIR: AAAAAYYYYYYY-- JAKE: Stop! AMIR: Question. You haven't had a single McNugget yet. JAKE: Yes, I have. AMIR: Let me finish! Why? AMIR: Somebody sauce me! Right now. JAKE: OK, can I have my phone? AMIR: Nah, you are good. (high pitched) Tonight is about sans phone. JAKE: (sing-song) Sans phone. Sans phone. AMIR: Tonight is sans phone, yeah. AMIR: Let me guess, you're sad. You know what? People at work suck shit. My birthday sucked and you don't see me crying about it. JAKE: Yeah, you're crying about it right now. AMIR: (whining) Well it was depressing as hell, I was all alone! (party going on elsewhere) GUY: Yo, where's Jake? PAT: No idea, I called him like a dozen times. GUY: Oh, I think he's with Amir actually. GIRL: Did you even invite Amir? PAT: No, Jake hates Amir. Straight to voicemail. (back to Amir and Jake) AMIR: Who dat sick-ass dude with that fly ass gift? Who dat sick-ass dude with that fly ass gift? JAKE: What is it? AMIR: It's uh, whatever. It's, uh, anything you want it to be. JAKE: It's a condom holder. AMIR: Boom. So. JAKE: I didn't want it to be that. AMIR: OK, well why'd you put a comdon in it? JAKE: Can I just have my phone, actually? AMIR: Ah, come on. Why- JAKE: Oh my god! Seventeen missed calls. AMIR: Seventeen? JAKE: Ten text messages. AMIR: Proba-Those are all for me. JAKE: Nope. It's Pat. He says that everyone is at Cullen's. AMIR: Heehee, yeah right. Pat's at the vet. He's probably just still trying to fuck with you. All right? Honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly- JAKE: Honestly what? AMIR: Hones- JAKE: What? AMIR: I'm going to kill him. JAKE: OK. AMIR: Straight up. JAKE: Straight up, I'm going to go to Cullen's. AMIR: Aye-waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait-wait for me then. Let me just take a super-super-quick power nap. Super tired from all this pre-gaming. (high pitched) Supah tired from all this pre-gaming! Honestly...Jake. TO BE CONTINUED. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4spf6qNVX9Y