No intro [Camera shows Jake and Amir's desks are empty, then pans to the rest of the CH crew who are seated playing a game. ] Streeter (yawning): You guys notice how nice and quiet it is today? Jeff: Yeah, 'cause Jake and Amir aren't here. Dan: Okay, they are really fucking weird right? All: Yes! Absolutely! Sarah: Amir is sooo weird. Streeter: You know what? It's not just Amir. Jake is totally insane. I lived with that guy. Certifiable, for sure. Jeff: They shit at the same time every single day. All (in agreement): Yes! Pat (pointing newspaper): I thought I was crazy. Sam: That's not true. Jake goes to the bathroom. Amir follows him to the bathroom. Sarah: No way! Streeter: No. No. No. Not all the time 'cause sometimes Amir goes in before him. Dan: A couple hours before. Pat: Sarah, how do they shit at the same time? Sarah: What... Sam: Who am I, who am I right now? [Sam tilts his head to the side.] Sam (imitating Amir): Jake, dinner tonight? [All laugh.] Pat (earnestly): Amir. Amir. Amir. You're Amir. Sam: Yes, I'm Amir. Streeter (high pitched): Look at me talk in a high voice. I'm annoying everyone in the office... Note: I can't really tell who's talking here. They all start imitating Amir. Here's what I can make out. Pat: ...right now!....must go bother someone...completely bother the entire office... Jeff:...and I've got a huge crush on Sarah. Sarah: What? Guy: Watch this. Who am I guys? [He stands up and stuffs chicken nuggets in his mouth.] Guy (high pitched): Ooooh. Jake. Jake. Jake. Jake. Jake. Jake. [All laugh] [Amir is revealed behind him and silence falls on the group.] Jeff: Oh. Amir: Hahahaha. Sup, hey guys? Other: Hey man. Sarah: Uhhh... where were you today? Amir: Uhhh... Jake is actually very sick. (looks at Pat) Not that that's any of your business. Pat: I didn't say anything! Amir: So this is what you guys do huh? When Jake and I aren't here you do a little impersonations, you eat chicken nuggets, right? You do impressions of people and that's fun. Sarah: Sorry Amir. Amir: You know what, don't be. ' Cause I love doing impressions too! laughs Who am I? Amir (doing a bad impression of Jake): Pat, you know what? Your hygiene is less than average and I don't like you anymore. Amir is my best friend, did you guys know that? Amir: I'm Jake. Give me a chicken nugget.