INTRO (A paper reads "COLLEGEHUMOR'S ALL-NIGHTER"; "TEN VIDEOS. ONE NIGHT.") ALL: CollegeHumor's All-Nighter! [Jake and Amir are sitting at their desks. Amir is beginning to nod off, and shakes his head to keep awake.] AMIR: Ugh... I don't know if I can make it, man. [scoffs] Like, the finish line is in sight... but I'm not right. [laughs] What time is it? Four AM? Five AM? 4:05 AM? JAKE: 7:45 PM, the All-Nighter starts in another fifteen minutes, and it goes for twelve hours. AMIR: Stop hounding my shit, please, okay? I'm pissed, I'm scared, I'm tired, I'm... there... JAKE: What? Where? AMIR: There. JAKE: How are you this tired already? AMIR: [laughs] I'm glad you asked. [Amir falls asleep immediately.] JAKE: Dude, wake up! [There is an ethereal transition accompanied by a harp sound. Jake and Amir are now both female, and appear to be Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer from Broad City. Amir wakes up.] ILANA-AMIR: Holy guac! That nap was more than legit: it was dec'! ABBI-JAKE: I think that might make it less than legit. ILANA-AMIR: Don't nitpick my twitpic, ya shit-dick! Now that wit was quite quick. ABBI-JAKE: Do you want me to get you some coffee? Maybe that would wake you up? ILANA-AMIR: I'm clearly awake if I'm talking to you, Scooby-frickin'-Don't. ABBI-JAKE: What are you even talking about? ILANA-AMIR: Bad Scooby? Nah. Bad Doo. [Ilana-Amir begins laughing and then falls asleep.] [Another transition and harp sound later, Amir and Jake are Brian McElhaney and Nick Kocher from BriTANick.] BRIAN-AMIR: [still laughing] Dude, you gotta crack up at that shit! That Scooby-Doo pun? That destroyed at my pop-pop's wake. NICK-JAKE: Why did you tell it there? BRIAN-AMIR: Um, 'cause everyone was sad? Especially me! I was his closest friend! Open casket? Now I can't buy a basket. NICK-JAKE: Can you please try not to rhyme all of the time? BRIAN-AMIR: You just did it! NICK-JAKE: That was unintentional. BRIAN-AMIR: Oh, an unintentional rhyme? Well I'm an unconventional mime, [he moves his hands as if in an invisible box] eating an unpresentable lime. [Brian-Amir pantomimes taking a bite out of an invisible lime.] BRIAN-AMIR: Eww!-- Fuck you. Crack up at that. NICK-JAKE: Wh-- you didn't even give me time to laugh at that! You knew that would fail. BRIAN-AMIR: Fuck you, fuck you, I'm cool, and fuck you. [Brian-Amir begins laughing.] BRIAN-AMIR: Ohh! Oh, it hurts to laugh, it hurts to laugh... [Harp and transition. Jake and Amir are Andrew and Evan Gregory of the Gregory Brothers.] EVAN-AMIR: ...And fuck you. ANDREW-JAKE: I-- I think we should ask Sam if you can go home. EVAN-AMIR: Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you? ANDREW-JAKE: Yes, I would. EVAN-AMIR: Wow. The truth comes tumbling out. Jake's a frickin' anti-Semite. And that just ain't right. ANDREW-JAKE: ...What? [Harp and transition. Jake and Amir are themselves; Amir seems to be talking in his sleep.] AMIR: I said "You, Jacob Hurwitz... you're an anti-Semite." [Abbi, Ilana, Nick, Brian, Andrew and Evan have gathered around Jake's chair.] NICK: What did he just say? JAKE: He's half-asleep, dude. What do you mean "what did he just say"? It doesn't matter. ABBI: Oh, it doesn't matter because what? What, because he's a Jew? [Abbi shoves Jake.] JAKE: I didn't say that! What are you talking about? AMIR: [now very much awake] I'm talkin' about you hating Jew. ILANA: You prick! I know many Jews. JAKE: So do I! I'm half Jewish-- [Brian punches Jake in the face.] JAKE: Ow! BRIAN: I don't hit like a Jew, do I? JAKE: ...That was anti-Semitic, what you just said! AMIR: Get him! JAKE: What are you talking about-- [Everybody begins beating up Jake.] JAKE: Hey! Ow! Ow, quit it-- [Amir laughs maniacally.] [Harp and transition. Amir is lying on a couch, presumably dreaming the situation just shown. He is laughing in his sleep. Abbi, Ilana, Nick, Brian, Andrew, Evan and Jake are standing around him.] ANDREW: I thought you said we were gonna shoot a video. JAKE: I'm sorry; I think he fell asleep, so... AMIR: [mumbling] Tear his... Jew-hating face off. END