Intro; jake: you're watching jake and amir amir: don't talk to them like they're babies jake: i'm not amir: yeah you're spoon feeding them Show; [silence] amir: i can fix this problem in three seconds and this fool is going to take 3 hours [silence] amir: i'm serious, i can fix this problem in three seconds and this fool is going to take 3 hours [silence] amir: i can... jake: shut up dude, you can't fix any problem, computer related or not in three seconds so just stop talking amir: wow, pussy whipped much [makes whipping sound] jake: what? amir: i'm fucking with you, okay relax man, you gotta learn how to chill out, i'm serious, if words piss you off this much, you have a seriously psychological problems jake: i have a seriously psychological problems? amir: yeah jake: you've got a problem too, you can't talk amir: i'm not keeden man, you should look and check it out, i'm not keeden jake: you know what you poured apple jacks and milk all over my computer [amir rolls eyes] okay, all my files might be erased amir: might be! might be! and you're pissed at me like they are! i'm serious if words piss you off this much... jake: words didn't piss me off at all, you did, you and your apple jacks amir: don't blame the apple jacks like they did anything jake: i'm not blaming them, i'm blaming you amir: i don't deserve the silent treatment jake: i'm not giving you the silent treatment, i'm talking to you amir: you're yelling at me! jake: still, then it's not the silent treatment then is it right? so you were wrong when you said that amir: i'm sorry, king dork is taking way to long, i gotta go over there and harrass this asshole or something jake: no you don't hey! stop! [amir goes round the desk to jake's side] amir: hey king dork, bet you're happy this is a computer problem and not a date because you have nothing to offer a woman, i bet you have no hobbies i.t guy: i like swimming amir: holy shit the king dork speaks [laughs] and he has the worst hobby of all time ... biking jake: he said swimming, try to listen, what hobbies do you have? amir: not really a hobby but i've been pretty into craisins recently, you know cranberry raisins? jake: you're right, that's not a hobby amir: hey biking dork, i bet i know what you like to do i.t guy: your mum? [amir stands up] amir: low blow, you fucking asshole! jake: hey hey hey relax amir: what, this guy comes in here with that, that that that poison in my ears, talking about RAPING MY MOTHER! jake: chill out he didn't say that amir: you vile vile little man with your acid tongue you SERPENT! poisoning my minds eye jake: you're crying right now? you were making fun of him, you started this, you called him king dork amir: i can't process this right now, i can't deal with this right now jake: you know what thirty seconds ago you were saying if words piss you off this much you have serious psychological problems amir: i was keeden jake: you're not, you weren't keeden, you said right after i'm not keeden amir: i was keeden i.t guy: okay it should be good jake: thanks man [i.t guy gets up and walks away] amir: you think he meant that, that jab about my old lady jake: no amir: yeah right, he said it so quick he didn't even bat an eyelash jake: you're not intuitive amir: if he's king dork then i'm prince nerd, and i'm ready to accept that [starts calling to i.t guy] dad come back, i'm ready to love again i'm sorry i.t guy: [from a distance] fuck you amir: [shakes his hand in disappointment] [ends]