AMIR: Jake, you know how when a man is sexually aroused, I was just thinking about it, how his penis becomes erect because blood flows into it, the appendage? So... JAKE: Did you know that if too much blood flows into it, his dick can actually explode? AMIR: Yes. JAKE: I'm kidding. (Amir laughs) Got you! AMIR: (holds hammer) I wanna throw this hammer so that it hits right in between your eyes. JAKE: Ok, that's weird, because that's the opposite of what I want to happen. AMIR: Well, opposites attract, so, close your eyes. JAKE: Doesn't really make sense here. AMIR: I don't think I'm explaining it right. JAKE: No, you're explaining it fine. AMIR: It's not gonna hit your eyes (JAKE: I know) like either the left one or the right one, those are gonna be fine. JAKE: Just, yeah, in the middle, (AMIR: Yes.) I know. I get it. I just don't want it, I don't want it to hit any part of me at all. AMIR: I feel like I'm doing the hard part by throwing it, and then you're not doing anything back, you know, like you're not bringing anything. JAKE: Well, some people might say that I have to, I have the tough job of ex- trying to convince you not to throw it. AMIR: Ok. But you can't convince me not to do this, I'm so set. Like, I, it's already happened in my head. JAKE: Still, I could probably say something like- (two loud bangs) Oh. What happened? AMIR: Huh. JAKE: You Ok? AMIR: (strained) Yee. JAKE: Yee, you're Ok. AMIR: Yee. JAKE: Yee, Ok, what did you hurt? AMIR: (in pain) I didn't hurt anything, I'm juuuu-ah! JAKE: You're just... AMIR: I'm fine. JAKE: You're grunting. AMIR: I'm grunting because I, oh, my head hur- I have a headache. JAKE: Oh. Why does- Did you- Are you sure you didn't hit your hand with a hammer? AMIR: (touches head with bloody hand) No, it just- It feels super swollen, like right around here. Is it, like, real- It look- It feels like it's throbbing. JAKE: Your head doesn't, your head looks fine. Your hand, though, looks really bad. AMIR: Oh, no, yeah, I just spilled it in lemonade. JAKE: No, I can see bone. AMIR: Raspberry lemonade. JAKE: Doesn't explain the bone. AMIR: Ok, uh, ooh, I'm gonna pass out because I'm in a lot of pain. JAKE: Right, yeah. AMIR: But I'm pretty positive you're not right. (puts head down) JAKE: Yeah, I dunno, I think I'm right, but it's a good idea. Why don't you take a nap, maybe we'll go to the hospital when we- (hammer flies past Jake) AMIR: (with head down) Jake, did it hit? Jake. THE END