JAKE: Hey, you're watching Jake and Amir. AMIR: And Jake needs a haircut. JAKE: Shut up. (quiet) Really? AMIR: Yes. (new scene) AMIR: Okay, why are we here again? JAKE: I'm here to buy a guitar. You're here because you follow me, everywhere. AMIR: Oh sweet, what kind of gee-tar? JAKE: So you're just glossing over the fact that I called you out on following me-- AMIR: Acoustic, or...the other one? Maybe JAKE: Electric? AMIR: No? (new scene) AMIR: Uh, soo-ry. Do you have any-- (loudly) pewww! Jrrr-dr-dr-dr-dr-dr--air guitars? (new scene) (AMIR is playing the guitar. Camera zooms out to show that another person is playing the guitar and AMIR is just playing along. MAN stops playing) AMIR: (angrily) Please keep playing! Sorry, but c'mon. Don't stop. JAKE: I know you're not playing. AMIR: Yeah, now you know! Because of Milli Vanilli over here, effing it up! (new scene. JAKE and MAN are looking at guitars when the alarm suddenly and loudly goes off. Camera goes towards AMIR, who is near the door with two guitars.) AMIR: Oh, uh, I was just stepping out, for like two seconds, to smoke! (new scene. JAKE is playing guitar to AMIR) AMIR: Wow, you're like a real guitarist in a real band. JAKE: (chuckles) Ah, nah, I couldn't do that-- AMIR: Yeah, you're probably right. JAKE: Well, not 'cause I don't have the talent, 'cause I don't have the time-- AMIR: Nah, 'cause you don't have the talent! JAKE: No, I have the talent. So is that talent-- (begins singing) I-- (voice cracks). I-- (mutters something?) (new scene) AMIR: Hey dude, I'm really sorry, I think I knocked over a lot of guitars over there. Gosh-- (MAN leaves. AMIR tugs at guitar). AMIR: (to JAKE) Hey, great--get this guitar and let's get out of here! JAKE: No, no that's what you're doing? No! AMIR: What? Ah--come on, I knocked over that display case for nothing? JAKE: So you actually knocked over a display case-- MAN: Jesus Christ! AMIR: ...No. (new scene) AMIR: Hey, you know what, I'm kind of feeling the vibe. You have like a job application to work here? (man reaches over) JAKE: You already have a job. AMIR: Ah, that's true. I'd have to quit that job to work here, nevermind, so-- JAKE: Hey, screw it, man. Get an application-- AMIR: Ah, you're right, why would I leave-- JAKE: Just in case, just-- get him an application, I'll fill it out, right now. (new scene. JAKE is playing the guitar while AMIR sings and MAN gazes happily) AMIR: (singing) You've got a fast Jake, let's get tickets to a baseball game. I wanna eat chicken nuggets, you gotta pay 'cause I don't have cash. Anything is better, than me paying 'cause I don't have cash. I was pretty (bleeping) clear about that, when I said I didn't have cash. You're ee-aaah... (new scene. JAKE is buying a baby guitar) AMIR: (runs to cashier) Wait Jake Jake Jake Jake! Can you buy these for me? I am STRAPPED-- (holds up straps) ahh!-- for cash! JAKE: Yeah-- AMIR: I don't have cash on me. I wish I had cash and I don't have cash and I'm JAKE and AMIR: Strapped for cash. AMIR: Yeah. JAKE: I'm not gonna buy them for you. AMIR: Okay. Half? (return to scene with JAKE playing guitar as AMIR sings and MAN looks on) AMIR: And I-ee-I...had a feeling that we were friends, and I-ee-I, just know that we are more than that, more than that-- (stops singing and puts hand on guitar) More than that! Like best friends or something. JAKE: I don't want the guitar. AMIR: I'll buy it for you! COLLEGE HUMOR pops up.