[INTRO] Amir: Hey, you're watching Jake and Amir. [pauses for Jake's reaction] Amir: You're not going to say, Good job? Jake: Jesus, man. Amir: Hm, it's kinda hard to sit down with this knife in my back. Can you actually grab that for me? And don't twist it. Jake: Just shut u-- Wow! There is a knife back here. Amir: Okay. Jake: It's covered in peanut butter. Amir: I meant the imaginary one! Jake: Still though. Amir: I'm just nervous, you know? I love her so much and in a couple hours, she could just come in here, look me square in the eyes and go, You are the weakest link. Goodbye. [unexpectedly tapping Jake's stomach] Goodbye. Amir: Hey, to pass the time, let's read old text messages between her and me. Jake: No. Don't. Amir: Last night was incredible. You made me feel like a woman again. I had no idea my breasts were so sensitive. Okay, now let's read one that she sent to me... Amir: She's calling me! Hello? Oh my God! She's been in an accident! Jake: Are you-- Amir: I'm kidding, you idiot. Jake: Wow! What is wrong with you?! Amir: What? Amir: Hey, just so you know: Whatever happens, me and you are going to stay friends. Jake: What if she chooses me? Amir: Then we're through, okay? You're dead to me. Jake: You just said whatever happens we'd stay friends. Amir: Yeah. Sometimes I say stupid things. It's like, Hi. I'm Amir. Have we met? It's-- [gasps at seeing Lerona] Lerona: Hey. [Jake and Amir eagerly approach Lerona] Lerona: So, I made my decision. Amir: Who'd you choose? Lerona: It was really tough. Jake, you're so thoughtful and smart and really cute... so I choose you! [Jake and Lerona hug] Amir: And Amir? You are... Lerona: No. Amir: So, I guess you made your decision. Lerona: Yeah. Amir: Well, let me just show you what you're going to miss: [Amir leans in for a kiss and Lerona stops him by palming his face] Amir: Hey! What are you doing?! Lerona: I chose Jake! Amir: I know. But I need to show you what you're going to miss! Lerona: No. No. Listen, I'm... I'm really sorry. Amir: Me too. Wait. No. I'm not sorry; I'm sad. You made me sad. [Jake puts his arm around Lerona] Jake: So. Lerona: So... [Jake and Lerona exiting building onto the street] Jake: God, I'm so happy you chose me. Lerona: I feel like such a bitch. Jake: You're not a bitch. [they kiss] Jake: [as Lerona walks to stand in the street] Just like Aragorn said to Arwen before the Battle of Helm's Deep... [a bus comes out of nowhere and hits Lerona] Jake: Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh no! [END]