Opening Sequence Jake: Hey, you're watching Jake and Amir. Amir: Not if you stop watching right now. Jake: Right...? Amir: Just saying. Episode Amir: Kinda crazy, huh? Jake: What is? Amir: One minute you're here, the next... (Acts out a catastrophic collision with his fingers) you're wormfood. Jake: I guess. Amir: Isn't it weird that worms are cannibals? Jake: They're not. Amir: They eat humans. Jake: That's not cannibalism, cannibalism is when you eat your own species. Amir: So you're saying worms don't eat other worms. Jake: I'm saying I don't know, but either way that's not what you meant. Amir: Isn't it? Jake: I feel like I've had this conversation with you before. Amir: Hmh, I think you might be thinking of the conversation I had with my girlfriend last night. Jake: Hey Pat, I'm not getting your emails. Amir: Hey Pat, you're not getting my girlfriend. (Chuckles) No... What? Jake. Jake! Jake! Jake! Jake! JAKE I have a girlfriend, okay? Oo, big whoop. Yeah, it's a huge whoop, and you're not saying anything about it. Why are you being so obvious? Jake: Oblivious? Amir: Look who decided to show up, ladies and Germanies! Jake: Where'd you meet her? Amir: What's with the third degree? Can't somebody have a private life? At a laser tag. Read between the lines. Jake: No lines there. So you met her at your cousin's laser tag? Amir: (Sticking out his arm) Oo twist my leg why don'tcha! Jake: That's your arm. What's her name? Amir: Her name, is her mane, and that's all that's her-mane cause she's Popeye the sailor dame! Toot toot! Ay yai yai! Ay caramba! Arriba! This stuff's made in New York City! Jake: (Cutting off Amir) So you couldn't think of a name fast enough. Here's a lying tip: think of possible questions I'm going to ask you− Amir: Okay, her name is Leron...a. Lerona. Jake: Lerona. Kinda like your cousin's name, which is Leron, except with an 'a' at the end. Amir: Yes. Jake: Lying tip number two− (Lerona enters, hugging Amir from behind) Lerona: Hi. Amir: Hey there. Jake: Woah. Lerona: (To Jake) Hi. Jake: Hey. You must be Lerona. Lerona: Yeah, but it's Leron-uh. Like you're confused. Jake: I am confused. Amir: So. Lerona: (To Amir) Hi! (Lerona kisses Amir) Amir: Mmm, I missed you. Lerona: I missed you. Jake: Very confused. (Lerona tousles Amir's hair, both laughing) Amir: I like that.