Intro: Amir: Hey you're watching Bill and Ted Jake: Nope they're not... Amir: WELL I AM! Jake: DON'T cry and pinch me.. Amir: (in the tune of Pink: Party Started) I'm coming out so you better get the party started, I'm coming out I'm coming.. Jake: You okay? Amir: OKAY? I'm better than okay, I'M GAY, best part of my day, we're officially now husbands with each other Jake: No, what are you talking about? Amir: I saw your Facebook profile pic dude, with the eh the pink minus' Jake: The equal sign Amir: No they were like two dashes Jake: IT'S A EQUAL SIGN, I'M RIGHT Amir: NO the two, the dashes that are like... Jake: It's an EQUAL SIGN yeah.. Amir: Whatever... Jake: NO WHATEVER, did you really just not know what an equal sign was Amir: I forgot... Jake: It's like the first thing they teach you Amir: Either way, since we have to get married gay, I thought I'd... (Stumbles on words) I thought I'd have to snatch Jake: Yeah it's fine, not everything you say has to rhyme Amir: I thought I'd had to snatch you up before some other beautiful bow out there did Jake: Okay, No, just no, you've got this entirely wrong Amir: Oh my god, I feel a fool Jake: As you should Amir: Who is he? Jake: No... Amir: (gradually getting louder) At least give me the curtsey of telling me his name so I can CURSE HIM AT NIGHT Jake: Nobody has to get gay married Amir: wwwwwhat are you talking about Jake: Marriage Equality doesn't mean I have to marry another guy Amir: Mmmmm yeah it does (giggle) Jake: Mmmmm No it doesn't Amir: Mmmmm then why else would people be so pissed you nim-rod Jake: You're the dumb one Amir: The conservative right, yeah, they've been vehemently opposed to this issue, and you know why, because they are forcing people to get gay married, i mean i wouldn't want to be forcibly gay married to someone unless i knew someone as chill as you that i would down to settle down with... Jake: No Amir: ...maybe start a family with someday...I know I know someday you have a career Jake: Some people just don't believe that same sex couples should be allowed to marry (Silent, then Amir laughs uncontrollably) Jake: I'm not joking Amir: THAT'S WHY I'M MARRYING YOU Jake: I'M NOT JOKING (Amir goes serious) Amir: Jesus...that's fucked up Jake: I know... Amir: Who are they to tell us how to live our lives... Jake: You're right...but...me and you...we're not gay... Amir: ahuh...like hell we aren't, you're my best friend Jake: yeah that's not gay you just wanna hang out with me all the time Amir: HOHOHAHA aren't you Mr Confident, no wonder you found a husband so fast, hey tell me? is he a chubby hubby like the Ben and Jerry's flavour hahha Jake: Bad joke... Amir: WHATS HIS NAME!!!!!! Jake: I just think if people wanna get married they should be allowed to Amir: Agreed, except for me and you evidently, you know my mother was right, CONGRADULATIONS JAKE, you're married to a divorcee and a fiance Jake: That's not how that works, and I think our marriage is a sham anyway because aside from meeting to agree to it I probably should have at least been present at the ceremony Amir: You know I thought so too much for three hand jobs and a bottle of Nytol that drag queen down in the west villages was singing a different tune Jake: Awful, Disgusting, Unofficial... Amir: And yet here we are...Officially Wed (Produces wedding certificate) Till death do we shart...HO YEAH (starts to "shart") Jake: Don't try to shart, don't do this!! Amir: (Still Sharting) It's natural baby Jake: It's not natural you're forcing it out Amir: It's a coincidence Jake: It's not a coincidence, your voice is...strayed Amir: Here comes the tadpole, just one, little, guppy, flying, out of my, rectum, ohhhhhh, HI DE HO, ehehaha Jake: That was so much more than a tadpole, or a guppy Amir: Can you believe that you have to be with this ass for the rest of your life, Credit Roll Special Message: Jake: Hey Jake and Amir here, that might of been a silly video but it did have an important message Amir: That's right there is nothing funny about sharting Jake: We all know somebody whos sharted Amir: That's right we share the freeways with them, subways, office building, schools...they deserve the same rights as we do...sharters do... Jake: Support gay marriage