Jake: Hey, you're watching Jake and Amir. Amir: Unless you're too scared. Jake: They're not. Amir: Okay. Amir: I don't think so. Tsk, tsk. I wouldn't do that. If I were you. Fucker! Pay attention to me! Jake: Why? Why should I? Because you're just trying to goad me into saying \"what\" so you can launch into some diatribe about food delivery, maybe? Amir: Unhealthy, ungainly, unseemly, unsightly, and yes, actually. Jake: Actually? Amir: And not to mention a waste of c-c-c-cash. Jake: Yeah, it's a little more expensive, but I appreciate the convenience. Amir: Yeah, a little bit more expensive. And the Hyundai Sonata is a little bit nicer than the Elantra. Jake: Maybe, I don't— yeah, sure? Is it? Amir: Holy shit, you really don't know about the new elegant redesign of the 2023 Sonata. Recently named one of J.D. Power and Associates Best in Class, edging out drum roll please… Jake: Try to focus. Amir: Exactly right, the Ford Focus. Jake: Nice. Amir: What's in there anyway? Fucking labneh, lard and a fennel or a star anise? Jake: It's a burrito. You don't have a nose, okay? Amir: Meaning? Jake: Meaning chicken, beans, rice. Jake: Star anise? Jake: No, I don't even know what that is. Amir: So what, you paid like 20 bucks for $5 worth of ingredients 'cause you needed somebody to assemble it for you, you needed to help pay the rent of the store that put it together. Maybe the delivery person needed a living wage? Jake: You're just describing capitalism. Amir: I'm describing cannibalism. You're eating the invisible hand. Yeah, supply and demand? I don't think so. Supply the D-man. Jake: Ooh, your breath. Amir: Star anise. Jake: Stop watching TikTok videos, okay? Don't learn new information because you don't know how to synthesize it correctly. Amir: Meaning? Jake: Meaning exactly what I fucking said. Just let me eat. Amir: I'll join you. Pan-seared Kobe filet. Seared to perfection, medium rare? Now that's well done. Jake: Okay, cool. Amir: Yeah? Really? Jake: Not really. Amir: Let me finish. Jake: I did, I thought. Amir: Red wine au jus, cooked down from an '88 Château Le Firaute. Jake: I'm gonna be sick. Amir: And yeah, labana medallion potatoes harvested from… drum roll, please! Jake: Focus. Amir: Labatwah island. Jake: Okay, so there's no way you're saving money. That sounds super expensive. Amir: Around $900 if you don't count the $12,000 bottle of wine, but I only used the splash. Jake: For a sauce? Amir: For a jus, for au jus. Jake: God, you're spitting a lot. Amir: I'm drooling to be here, and yeah, my teeth are out of alignment because, drum roll please… Jake: You take bad care of your mouth? Amir: Because I was hit by a bike. On the way to work this morning. Jake: Is that why your lunch looks like a gruel? Amir: Yes, I was dragged by a fucking e-bike, 11 blocks. Pedestrians tried to save me and then thought otherwise 'cause the record was 8 and they wanted to see me go for the gold. Jake: Great, okay, I think I'm gonna go home 'cause I am ill from smelling that and from being here. Amir: Fair. Dinner tonight? I'll order au jus.