JAKE: Hey, question. AMIR: One second. JAKE: No. Did you delete all my computer files? AMIR: Ugh, I so do not want to answer that question. JAKE: Why? AMIR: Because like, either way I'm an asshole. JAKE: Just one way, really. AMIR: OK, let's say I say yes. I did delete all your computer files, then I'm like a big meanie, so. JAKE: The other way? AMIR: I guess the other way would be like, all right, no, I didn't delete any of your computer files, then it's like, ooo...I'm the asshole who deleted all your computer files and then lied about it to cover it up or something. Just- JAKE: Gotcha. AMIR: (high pitched) You're damned if you do, damned if you don't. (normal voice) You're damned if you do, damned if you don't. JAKE: (along with Amir) -if you do, damned if you don't. All right, but you did. AMIR: Yes, absolutely. JAKE: (sighs) AMIR: Or should I say, absol-fruit-ly. JAKE: I think absolutely works. AMIR: OK, more so. JAKE: Oh, you broke my keyboard too, huh? AMIR: Yeah, I did that one fo' sho'. JAKE: Fo' sho', fo' sho'. How would you feel if I broke your computer? AMIR: I mean, honestly, I might straight up murder you. JAKE: OK, so you understand that it's annoying-- AMIR: Did you fucking touch my computer? JAKE: No. That's an example like-- AMIR: Answer the question, bitch! Did you touch my computer or not? JAKE: I said I didn't, OK? I was saying 'if' just-- AMIR: All right, OK, you know, sorry, I'm just going to go outside, 5 minutes, I'm going to cool off, I'm going to come back, you're going to apologize, everything is going to be fine again. JAKE: I'm not apologizing. I didn't do anything, so... AMIR: All right, take a walk with me right now! JAKE: I'm not-I'm not going anywhere, OK? I have to stay here and try to recover my files. AMIR: Those files are gone. OK, trust me. JAKE: Well, I backed them up recently so... AMIR: Yeah, on an external hard drive, right? Yeah, I broke that too, so please! Are you really not coming on a walk with me? THE END. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcQl0gpXrwM