Intro- Sarah: Hey this is Sarah and you're watching jake and Amir. Amir: Oh my God you are a f**king dumb c*t! Jake: Wow Episode- Amir: Ah, am I ready for summer? Yeah, I think so. Jake: What are you doing? Amir: I knew you'd be jealous that I have forty-eight hot summer fashion tips and you have precisely zero. Jake: Is the first tip dressing like a schizophrenic homosexual? Amir: No, the first tip is white sunglasses. Jake: And you memorized them all... Amir: Yez Jake: What's tip number forty-two? Amir: Lace underwear, lightweight, sexy Jake: And how does it feel? Amir: Lightweight, sexy, really uncomfortable. Jake: Tip number eight? Amir: Nail polish! Jake: I'm impressed that you know all this, but I wish you wouldn't use the little brain power that you have to memorize girls magazines. Amir: If they were really girls magazines, would I know fifteen ways to freak HIM out in bed? Jake: You wanna freak guys out in bed? Amir: Yah, I like scaring people, and now I can do that, in bed. Jake: Scaring people like boo? Amir: No, scaring people like licking their toes. Okay, really freaking them out. Jake: I think this is the most you have ever not gotten it. And that's saying a lot. Amir: I don't know why you're being angry Mr. Leo. Today is your diva day. You should act the part at a party. Jake: I'm just gonna... I'm gonna ignore you, sorry (Amir is not in his chair) Jake: Jesus, what are you doing!? (Amir comes up from under jake's desk) Amir: Freaking you out, sorry for trying!