[POV: Amir. Amir knocks on the apartment door to the rhythm of Shave And a Haircut. Jake opens the door.] JAKE: [finishing the rhythm] Dun dun! [Amir slaps Jake. Jake doesn't mind.] JAKE: Haha! [to Rosie] Amir's here! ROSIE: Awesome! JAKE: Love that! Make yourself at home, comprende! AMIR: Okay. [Amir kicks his flip-flops off.] AMIR: Hey guys, check this out: [singing] It's my dick in a box! [Amir holds his hands to suggest holding a box. Jake and Rosie laugh uproariously.] AMIR: [singing] It's my dick in a box, baby! JAKE: [laughing] Stop-- stop it! AMIR: Saw-ree! JAKE: Me and Rosie were actually just talking about you, and I realized how much I hate him. ROSIE: It's true! [Amir and Jake high-five each other. Then Amir turns to look at a DVD sitting beside him.] AMIR: Whoa! Is that Knocked Up on DVD? Seth Rogen! I love him! Everybody knows that. How much did this cost? [Amir puts out his pinky and does a Dr. Evil impression.] AMIR: One million dollars. [Jake and Rosie burst out laughing again.] JAKE: Nah, I actually borrowed it from that zero, Patrick Cassels! ROSIE: He's an even bigger loser than me! AMIR: You mind if I burn this? JAKE: I'll take you out and buy your own copy, right now. AMIR: Oh, gosh. You don't have to do that! JAKE: I will! AMIR: Oh, by the way: after I'm done here, sleepover tonight? JAKE: Don't even ask, man. You know the answer! [Amir laughs. He opens the DVD and puts it into a laptop to watch it.] AMIR: Whoa! This is going in so smoothly-- [Non-POV. Jake, Pat, and Amir are at a table. Amir is recalling the events seen.] AMIR: --smoothly, it was, like, really smooth peanut butter. It was j-- you won't even believe how smooth it was, it was so sm-- yeah, so smoothly, it went in. PAT: Yeah? Smooth, right. Really smooth. Yeah, I don't-- I don't believe it, because it's clearly broken, Amir. AMIR: Okay, so it skips a little when you put it in. I mean... just go to the next scene! What's the Biggie fries? Right, Jake? JAKE: Cassels, d'you wanna know what really happ-- AMIR: Aaaaaah. So... JAKE: What's your plan? AMIR: What? JAKE: You're just-- you're gonna do that every single time I try to talk-- AMIR: Aaaaaaaaaah. JAKE: --for the rest of my life? Okay. You're not gonna be next to me forever. AMIR: Why not? JAKE: [sigh] Okay, here's what happened: to be continued...