INTRO EMILY: Hey, you're watching Murph and Emily! JAKE: No they're not. MURPH: Yes they are! AMIR: Aaaaaaah, he's hurting my back! [The episode begins with the end of the previous one.] JAKE: I-- I mean, this night has been... insane! MURPH: It's-- It's been crazy... JAKE: Right? MURPH: It's nuts. JAKE: I think we're gonna be better friends for it, though. I really do. [Jake and Murph shake. Suddenly, Murph slips his arm under Jake's center of gravity, hoists him up onto his shoulders, and moves toward the edge of the balcony.] JAKE: Whoa, dude! No! No. No! Stop it! [Jake pushes against the rail to hold himself back, and Murph drops him back onto the balcony.] JAKE: ...What the fuck was that? MURPH: I browned out! JAKE: That was illegal! MURPH: I browned out, man! JAKE: That was illegal, man! MURPH: I was following my heart! JAKE: What do you mean, following your heart? MURPH: I'm so-- I d-- JAKE: You tried to kill me! MURPH: Okay-- JAKE: If I didn't wiggle out of that, man, I'd be dead right now. MURPH: Okay, that was wack of me. JAKE: Wack? What're you talkin' about, wack? MURPH: Okay, it was-- it was-- JAKE: Murder. MURPH: It was eight stories. Eight stories. JAKE: Exactly! That's death-height! That's a death, dude! AMIR: Pussy. JAKE: ...What? [Amir is also standing on the balcony, smoking a joint.] AMIR: I said: You're a pussy. JAKE: You've been standing there the entire time? Why didn't you try to stop him? AMIR: I'm smoking a J. [Jake breaks down into tears.] JAKE: [sobbing] Dude... Man, he tried to kill me... MURPH: [also crying] I didn't mean to! JAKE: [crying] What're you talkin' about, you didn't mean to? AMIR: [crying] If you guys start crying, then I'm gonna frickin' cry, too; I'm gonna beef... MURPH: [crying] You kissed-- you kissed my girlfriend... JAKE: [crying] I kissed her, man... but I was drunk on the grig'... MURPH: [crying] It was the grig', man, it was the grig'.. AMIR: [crying] You had a lotta grig'... JAKE: [crying] Aw, too much grig'... AMIR: [crying] It was some primo grig'; it was a '95 Ritratti... MURPH: [crying] It was a friggin' Ritratti, yeah, it was a Ritratti... JAKE: [sobbing] Ritratti... AMIR: [crying] Yeah... yeah, it was a Ritratti, it's an aphrodisiac... [Suddenly all the crying stops.] MURPH: Jake, you gotta propose to Neko. JAKE: ...What? MURPH: I need you out of the game, man. You need to Jake one for the team. AMIR: You do, man. Bros propose before hos; I've always said that. JAKE: Look, you guys: I'm out of the game, okay? Trust me. MURPH: Look, man, it's my way or the balcon-ay! JAKE: Okay, hey-- Hey. Okay, I'll do it. I'll propose to Neko... It's not like she's gonna say yes. [Cut to Neko, hearing Jake's proposal.] NEKO: Yes! JAKE: ...What? NEKO: [ecstatic] Yes! JAKE: ...No! [Neko and Emily jump up and down excitedly, and hug each other.] EMILY: Oh my God oh my God oh my God! Oh, I'm so happy for you! JAKE: Emily, you're okay with this? MURPH: Are you okay... with this? [Murph presents a ring to Emily.] EMILY: Oh my God... JAKE: How many rings do you have? MURPH: Emily Wayne Dolphin... I want to-- luh-luh-luh-lick you-- for the rest of my life. JAKE: Bad. EMILY: You better, you piece of shit! [Emily runs into Murph's arms.] EMILY: Yes! JAKE: What is happening? How is this real? AMIR: Double wedding! [Amir uncorks a bottle. The cork hits Jake in the eye.] JAKE: Ow-- Ow, my eye... I'm blind, man! I'm blind and I'm engaged! NEKO: That's my fiance, you clumsy bitch! AMIR: Yeah, well you haven't eaten shit all night, so bring it! [Neko puts Amir in a headlock and holds him to the railing.] AMIR: Okay. Okay, I'm high! I'm high! Let go of me, I'm high! Jake, I'm stoned! [Jake and Neko spend a romantic night under the fireworks, making out and both texting on one phone.] END