INTRO EMILY: You're watching a really hot Jack and Amos. JAKE: Jake and Amir. MURPH: It was perfect! [Jake, Murph, Emily and Neko sit around a small table. Murph spins the empty wine bottle, and it points to Emily.] MURPH: Call me Sonny Bono-- not because I died in a horrific ski accident-- but because... [singing] I got you, babe! JAKE: Wow. ...Mean joke. [Murph and Emily make out for a very long time. Emily stares at Jake the whole time. So does Murph. Jake looks freaked out.] EMILY: Mmmm, mmmm-- oh, that was a good one. Add it to our kiss Twitter, babe. MURPH: Yeah! Hashtag open mouth, hashtag amazing, hashtag she was lookin' at Jake the whole time... EMILY: My turn! [Emily grabs the bottle, forcefully turns it toward Jake, and pokes him with it.] JAKE: ...I'm down for a peck, but, uh... only if it's cool with Neko! [Jake and Emily lean over the table toward each other. Emily grabs Jake's face and holds him there as she makes out with him.] EMILY: [muffled by Jake's face] God, that feels right... [Murph stares at them. Eventually Jake breaks free.] JAKE: Get off me, you wench! Neko, you just witnessed an assault. MURPH: It's your turn, Jake. Spin the bottle. JAKE: I'm a hundred percent down to not play-- MURPH: Spin the bottle, Jake. [Jake spins. It stops, pointing at Murph.] JAKE: Weak. ...Okay. That's um... That's a re-spin, right, Neko? That's a re-spin. [Jake goes to spin again, but Murph stops him.] MURPH: I don't like it any more than you do, Jake, but we need to kiss passionately. JAKE: ...Why? MURPH: [whispering] Because those are the rules. And they were pretty convenient when you were tonguing my soulmate, AKA my future wife! [Murph holds up his hand out of Emily's view again, showing Jake the ring.] JAKE: [whispering] Dude, take that off. Take it off. MURPH: Kiss me, Jake. JAKE: Fine. One, two, three. [Jake and Murph lean in and quickly kiss each other.] JAKE: There, dude. Are you satisfie-- [Murph grabs Jake by the head and pulls him in again, trying to french-kiss him.] JAKE: Oh! Neko... Neko, help me! MURPH: I'm frenching you 'cuz you frenched her! JAKE: Stop it, dude! Make him stop it... What're you-- MURPH: Do you want it to stop? JAKE: Dude, I want everything to stop! [Jake pulls away.] JAKE: What the fuck was that? [Murph just shakes his head.] JAKE: Outside. On the balcony, right now. [Jake leaves.] MURPH: Babe, I'm gonna go talk to Jake on the balcony. EMILY: Okay. MURPH: Bye. [Murph kisses Emily, then leaves. Amir returns with dessert.] AMIR: Ladies and gentlemen, dessert is served! Lemon sorbet with a chocolate mousse. EMILY: Cold food hurts Neko's teeth. AMIR: Of fucking course. [Jake and Murph talk on the balcony.] JAKE: Look, man, Emily is not the right girl. Alright? I don't know if Emily is into me, or if she's just... generally insane, but... I-- I just-- I just-- I don't think you can propose to her. Okay? MURPH: ...Yeah, man. JAKE: [calming down] I-- I mean, this night has been... insane! MURPH: It's-- It's been crazy... JAKE: Right? MURPH: It's nuts. JAKE: I think we're gonna be better friends for it, though. I really do. [Jake and Murph shake. Suddenly, Murph slips his arm under Jake's center of gravity, hoists him up onto his shoulders, and moves toward the edge of the balcony.] JAKE: Whoa, dude! No! To Be Continued...