INTRO: Jake: You're watching Jake and Amir. Amir: And I'm not wearing women's shoes. Jake: Wasn't gonna bring it up. Amir: Bring what up? DISEASE: (Amir at Jake's desk on Jake's computer) Amir: Holy Sheesh! Oh my frigg! Nobody can know about this! Sarah: Amir, you're yelling! Amir: SORRY! Sorry. (whispers) Sorry. (Amir crawls under desk as Jake approaches and hits his head on his way back up on his side) Amir: Ah! Oh, how goes it, broseph and the technicolor dream bro? Jake: It's fine, it's going fine. Amir: (bad accent) Nothing you want to confide in me? Nothing you want to confide in me? Jake: Nope. Amir: 'Cause kid you know you can tell me anything, kid. You know that, kid? Jake: Yep, and stop calling me kid, I know. Amir: Especially secrets. Jake: Right. I don't have anything to tell you. Amir: Yeah, so like for example, like a secret would be if you got a disease or whatever and you didn't want anybody to know but me, that would be an example of a secret that you could tell me. Jake: Sure. Nothing to tell you this -- Amir: OKAY, JAKE, COME ON I KNOW YOU GOT THE T-SHIRT VIRUS MAN I'M SORRY BUT YOU KNOW YOU CAN TRUST ME I WON'T TELL ANYONE! Jake: You're yelling about it right now. Amir: Also, I checked you're email, and that is totally messed up, I shouldn't have done that BUT, if you think about it, the ends justified the means, bro, and this just a classic case of that -- Jake: Okay, you know what? I know you've been checking my email, so I wrote a fake email from a fake doctor just to fuck with you, that's what happened. Amir: (laughs) Yeah right. Honestly, I wish I could believe you, but the doctor, Doctor Poop that wrote you that email, he straight up said that one of the symptoms was lying. To me, specifically. So, I don't know what to do write now. Jake: Yeah. Well I also put that in there. Amir: Ha! So you mean to tell me that if I stand up, take off my shirt and yell that "I'M A HUGE PERVERT, I'M A PEDOPHILE AND A PERVERT" that doesn't help cure you're little disease? Jake: Right, yeah, that's part of me f**king with you. Amir: (clears his throat) I know, ha, I was... Just checking. (sits down with shirt over his head) Um... I knew that you knew that I was reading you're email, so... that was me messing with you. Jake: Oh, snap, good one man. How were you messing with me by the way? Amir: Huh? Jake: How were you messing with me? Amir: Ahh Jake: Okay, that's what I thought. I was just making sure. Amir: Cool. So like all that stuff you bought on Amazon, all that weird sex stuff, that was just part of you messing around with me? Jake: Yes, yes it was... Amir: That makes a lot... like why would you buy self -- Jake: HAHAHAHA NO, NO, SHUT UP AHAHA STOP MAN HAAHA. Amir: So funny... Jake: Yeah... Amir: (to other people off in Pat's direction) Hey guys --! Jake: NO, NO, NO!