INTRO Amir - (holding his nose) Operator. How can I direct your call? Jake - Just do the intro Amir - I'm sorry, wrong number. AMIR: Hey Jake, if you wanted to hang out tonight - JAKE: I don't. AMIR: Well if you did, I can't cos I'm taking a rock climbing class. JAKE: Ok. AMIR: But, if you wanna hang out tomorrow - JAKE: I don't. AMIR: I can't either. JAKE: I didn't say I couldn't, I said I don't want to. AMIR: Cos I'm taking a cruise around Manhattan, so.... JAKE: Real quick, you gotta stop winking at me, alright? AMIR: We could do it Thursdayyyyy... yeahh right! Haha! Unless you actually wanted to take the ice sculpting class with me which should be fine cos that's sort of a two person thing... JAKE: Why are you signing up for all these classes? AMIR: Cos I love to learn, I love to yearn and most of all I love to make money. JAKE: Really thought that third thing was going to rhyme. AMIR: Yeah so did I. Tried to, failed, no big deal. It's not like you noticed. JAKE: I did notice, I called you out on it. How much money have you spent on these "deals"? AMIR: Spent or saved? JAKE: Spent. AMIR: 21,000 dollars. JAKE: Oh my god, give me your credit card. AMIR: But I've saved 40,000 which means I've made - JAKE: No it doesn't. AMIR: - 100,000. JAKE: Bad math. Bad logic. Just cos you're saving money doesn't mean you're making money. AMIR: Ok, this is an assault on my character. JAKE: Yes. AMIR: You're just jealous that you haven't signed up for dailydizzydinkydeals.com. With deals this dinky, dizzy, deal with ezeze wit de with deals this dizzy and dinky you'll find out... UH I forgot the slogan! JAKE: Not your fault, man, that's a really hard slogan to remember. AMIR: No, it is my fault, I thought of the slogan. It's my cousin's site. JAKE: Then it is your fault, you're right. AMIR: With deal... ok with dinky deals this daily, no with daily deals di-is oh fu-! Ah! It's like... no, it's once you say it once you always remember it, ok? It's like a lockbox like that. JAKE: You must've said it once. AMIR: Yeah I know, and I freakin' lost the lockbox too, so the metaphor doesn't hold. Don't say that the slogans bad. JAKE: Ok, well chill out man, you're wasting a lot of money. AMIR: Says the guy who dropped out of college! JAKE: Hey, c'mon... AMIR: Cary! JAKE: What are you doing? AMIR: What? I said - JAKE: I opened up. I confided in you. AMIR: I was mad. JAKE: And yeah. You're using it against me. AMIR: I won't do that. JAKE: How's it make me feel? AMIR: I - JAKE: Bad. AMIR: Yeah. JAKE: Like I don't want to tell you things. AMIR: Ok then, I won't say it anymore. JAKE: Alright, well. Don't like get annoyed at me like I should stop lecturing you like you're - Are you still buying stuff? AMIR: You don't get it man, ok? These deals are so dinky and daily that every... ok... every daily dinky deal this dis- JAKE: You're not gonna remember the slogan, just don't try it. AMIR: How about this, ok? With daily deals this dinky you'll drop out of college. JAKE: Just drop it! AMIR: Yeah you dropped it. You dropped out. Dropped out of school. Jake gets up and walks away. AMIR: Come on man, come back. Hey! I was- Don't. Thursday: me, you, ice sculpting. Don't drop out of this class too man!