Jake is listening to Pat who is talking through a puppet of a fish. PAT: (Through fish puppet) Hey, that seems pretty fishy to me, Pat. (Now talking to fish) Hey Cortan that's not a fisher- (Amir pushes Pat over) JAKE: Hey- AMIR:Jake, remember how you told me to hire a fating coach to hit on girls better? JAKE: No. AMIR: Okay. Sheesh. (Ben Schwartz Amir rolls up in rolling chair.) AMIR #2 (BEN SCHWARTZ): Amir Blumenfeld, how are you? AMIR: That's my name... AMIR #2 (BEN SCHWARTZ): Everybody's name is Amir Blumenfeld, it's not a big deal. What's your name? JAKE: Jake. AMIR #2 (BEN SCHWARTZ): Bad example. Okay what are we into guys? Guys or girls, guys or girls? WHat are you into? JAKE: I'm just standing here- AMIR #2 (BEN SCHWARTZ): Guys. WHat are you into? AMIR: Girls, then. AMIR #2 (BEN SCHWARTZ): That would leave you with girls, right? AMIR: Sure. AMIR #2 (BEN SCHWARTZ): For your two thousand dollars- AMIR: Two thousand? I said- AMIR #2 (BEN SCHWARTZ): I'm going to get you to have sex with any girl you want in here. AMIR: I don't want to have sex with any girl here. AMIR #2 (BEN SCHWARTZ): (Slaps Amir) You got to go up to her, you got to insult her.You have to make her feel like she made a mistake in life. AMIR: I don't have a lot of experience of whatever, but i feel like a good way to do it is to be nice and st- AMIR #2 (BEN SCHWARTZ): Who's wearing the backwards hat? AMIR: What? AMIR #2 (BEN SCHWARTZ): Who's wearing the backwards hat? AMIR: You are. AMIR #2 (BEN SCHWARTZ): Okay, okay. Watch this, watch this. I'm going to be kind to you, see what happens. Hey, Amir, that's a really nice looking sweatshirt. AMIR: Thank you, I appreciate that. AMIR #2 (BEN SCHWARTZ): Amir, I fucking hate that sweatshirt. AMIR: Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay I see I'm more attracted to you now. AMIR #2 (BEN SCHWARTZ): Of course. Okay, I want you to point to any girl here and I will guarantee you for those twenty thousand dollars you'e paying me- AMIR: Twenty? AMIR #2 (BEN SCHWARTZ): I will get that fruit loop fuck of yours in that sweet salmonberry's whole any time you want. (Amir points at robot.) AMIR #2 (BEN SCHWARTZ): That is a robot. AMIR: Sure. (Points at Jake) AMIR #2 (BEN SCHWARTZ): He might be into it, you have to ask hime- JAKE: Stop. (Points at plant) AMIR #2 (BEN SCHWARTZ): That is a plant, let's try to find something with life and moves... (Points at Hallie) AMIR: Ah, noooo. AMIR #2 (BEN SCHWARTZ): Ah, yes. AMIR: Ah, definitely no. AMIR #2 (BEN SCHWARTZ): Yes, that is the reaction that I lok for when a guy likes a girl he usually screams and makes his eyes look weird, okay? hat's your girl. AMIR: I've been with- I've- We- We were together. AMIR #2 (BEN SCHWARTZ): I'm not listening to you don't you remember I never listen to you. Go get it, okay? Go get it. (Whispers into Jake's neck) Crazy, crazy 2009 with the bomb and everything. (Jake laughs uncomfortably) AMIR: Hello Hilarie. HALLIE: Hallie. AMIR: Hallie. Sure. Whatever. Uh, your shoes look like garbage today. HALLIE: Okay, thank you. AMIR: So.. AMIR #2 (BEN SCHWARTZ): (Into Jake's neck) That, you see that? That was called negging, what that is called that is called negging... JAKE: Your like saying this into my neck. AMIR: (No shirt on) I'm just standing out, making you notice me. Is it working? HALLIE: I guess. AMIR #2 (BEN SCHWARTZ): Boom perfect. Peacocking. Do you see what he just did? Standing out. Every girl wants him right now. JAKE: It's working? AMIR #2 (BEN SCHWARTZ): Fuck yeah. JAKE: Okay first of all you both look like shit today, which is saying a lot because you usually look terrible to begin with. Secondly, where are you guys going to lunch? Because thirdly, we're coming with. SARAH: I am having lunch with my sister. AMIR: WHere are you going to lunch? HALLIE: I am having lunch with my sister. SARAH: I'll give you a minute. AMIR: Oh! Haha. AMIR #2 (BEN SCHWARTZ): What? AMIR: They have the same sister. SARAH: Really? AMIR #2 (BEN SCHWARTZ): Amir Blumenfeld. HALLIE: THat's his name. AMIR: Same name. AMIR #2 (BEN SCHWARTZ): Everybody's name. What's your name? HALLIE: Hallie. AMIR #2 (BEN SCHWARTZ): Bad example.