(Amir returns to desk in penguin costume...quacking) AMIR: Where is she? (nervous chuckle) JAKE: Amir... AMIR: What happened? JAKE: I need to talk to you. AMIR: (puts on penguin hood) What about? JAKE: Diana told me something. AMIR: If this is about me, wearing your high school retainer, I did it as a joke...wow! You don't even wear it anymore! JAKE: She wants to break up with you. AMIR: (chuckles) JAKE: Umm... AMIR: Why wouldn't she do it herself? JAKE: Sh-She probably likes you too much. AMIR: I can't believe this. I mean, you read plays, you see commercials, you never think it's going to happen to you. JAKE: It happens to everybody. AMIR: Nobody should ever outlive a relationship with somebody else, especially her. JAKE: I'm trying really hard to-- AMIR: Can I be serious with you for a second? JAKE: (sighs) Probably not. AMIR: I thought she was the one. JAKE: OK, I was right. AMIR: I'm sure she was. JAKE: All right, what do you mean by 'the one'? AMIR: What do you mean? JAKE: What is 'the one'? AMIR: The one, whatever. The one...well I don't know, you just say it. You just say it and the girl smiles and kisses you on the cheek...(whines) OH GOD THIS SUCKS! JAKE: All right, come on, uh, dinner tonight. AMIR: No. JAKE: McDonalds, let's go, right now! AMIR: I don't feel like it. JAKE: (sighs) OK, well, whatever you-- AMIR: Well which McDonalds? (cuts to them at McDonalds) (Jake feeds Amir a nugget) AMIR: Ugh, god, a dry McNugget, huh?! A dry McNugget! As if my day wasn't going bad! JAKE: I'm sorry! AMIR: It's fine. Ugh! Sweet and sour first! Sweet and sour first! JAKE: I'm sorry. AMIR: There's a difference. (Blackout) AMIR: Thank you for doing this today, and every day for the rest of the year, as you promised! JAKE: I didn't say that. THE END. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4BoH3j6qFc