INTRO AMIR: THIS IS JAKE AND AMIR! WELCOME TO THE THUNDERSHOW! JAKE: Not our intro. AMIR: Dangit! GARY: Guys, what's up? I'm Gary Vay-ner-chuck and Ricky hired me to help you guys explode College Humor's traffic. AMIR: Who are YOU? GARY: I said, I'm Gary- JAKE: (to Gary) Okay, you wanna see something impressive. (to Amir) Who's Ricky? AMIR: I know the name. I know the name. I just can't put the face to the- JAKE: What name? AMIR: I don't know the name, I don't know...who are YOU? GARY: Wait wait wait, okay. Are you guys on Facebook? (At the same time) JAKE: Yes AMIR: No GARY: Twitter? (At the same time) JAKE: Yup AMIR: No GARY: Ustream? (At the same time) JAKE: Yes AMIR: No GARY: Friendster? (At the same time) JAKE: No AMIR: Yes GARY: Are you guys active at all? AMIR: Sexually? JAKE: We use all those sites. AMIR: I'm not active, sexually, or otherwise. JAKE: Ok, he's not talking about sex. GARY: Actually, I am. You know, a healthy lovelife really impacts the workplace. AMIR: Me and Jake f**k like rabbits, sir. GARY: Woahhhh AMIR: Not each other. JAKE: And we don't do that. GARY: Alright guys, here's what we need to do to make CollegeHumor go huge: You need to hustle, crush it, and go big. JAKE: Those all kinda sound like the same thing. GARY: They're not. Hustle is to crush it. JAKE: Wasn't crush it the second thing? GARY: No, that was go big JAKE: Then the third thing was...? GARY: Crush it AMIR: Crush it. See? This is...now you're speaking my language! GARY: Thank you, comprende. JAKE: Comprende? GARY: Jake, the number one thing is to respect your co-worker. It's family. AMIR: It's family. GARY: You guys are friends, right? AMIR: Yes, best! JAKE: Well, maybe. GARY: Take Amir to a water park, an arcade, a picnic. AMIR: I've always said that you should take me to a water park, an arcade, and a picnic. JAKE: You have always said that, yeah. AMIR: In one day, please. GARY: I-I-I think Amir's cousin, Leron, runs a laser tag in Queens. Why don't you guys go up there and laser it up? AMIR: For once. JAKE: How is that gonna help traffic? AMIR: You're obsessed with traffic!! GARY: Jake, Amir's right. Don't worry about the traffic. Become best friends. Family. And it will all work itself out...or not. JAKE: So you're saying, it's a good idea for the site if me and Amir go to your favorite clothing store - JAKE and AMIR: Talbots JAKE: and uh, we get just matching pajamas. GARY: Dude, now you're getting it. JAKE: I am, I think I'm really getting it. Ricky didn't hire you. Amir hired it. (cut to Gary's chair spinning emptily) AMIR: (sharp breath in) He's gone. JAKE: No, he's under the table. AMIR: No...oh he, no, I can't see him. JAKE: Right there. (Amir is waving down with his pen) JAKE: You're waving him down. AMIR: No, I'm not...I'm stretching my wrists. (Jake gets up to leave) AMIR: Where you going? What about the water park?