Intro Amir: It's JAAAAAAAAAAKE and amir. Jake: I'm doing the next one. Amir: Fine. (sitting at their desks, looking at their computer screens) (Cuts to amir) Amir: This email you sent me makes no signs whatsoever. Jake: No signs whatsoever? Amir: No science whatsoever? Jake: No signs or no science? Amir: Oh... Ok. Jake: Don't act like you get it, cause those are both wrong. Amir: Holy crapiolli... Jake: What? (Linford enters - looks identical to amir but with flat hair and a green sweater on) Amir: My cousin Linford is here, Jesus... Linford: Amir.. Amir: Linford. Linford: I entrust you're doing well at this job, you know it wasn't easy for me to secure that you would have it for the rest of your life. Jake: Rest...? You guys are cousins? Amir: Second cousins. Linford: First cousins. Amir: Well you're my second first cousin... Linford: I'm your only first cousin. (Amir, annoyed) Amir: And you never shut up. Linford: Anyway, your mother is worried, you haven't picked up any of her calls... Amir: What a nervous freak. Linford: ...for close to six months. Jake: Wow... Amir: It's like CUT the umbilical cord already - gosh. Linford: She even sent the police to your apartment yesterday. Amir: Yeah well I'm staying at Jakes. Jake: Where? Amir: In the closet. Jake: oh... Linford: Here, use my phone, call her now. (Throws phone to Amir who deflects it onto the ground - in the background, the phone clatters on the ground) Linford: Well your mother lost you once, she wouldn't want to do it again. Jake: Lost you once? Linford: Yes, when amir was six he was abducted from a shopping mall, and returned at the age of 11. He had forgotten how to speak. Jake: I am so sorry... Linford: He survived on a diet of chicken nuggets. Amir: Best 5 years of my LIFE.