[INTRO] Amir: Hey, you're watching me! Jake: And me. Amir: Well... mostly me, though, if you think about it. [Amir is watching Jake eat a Kit Kat bar] Amir: Can I have the rest of that bar -- that Kit Kat bar? [Jake ignoring Amir] Amir: [singing the jingle] Break me off a piece of that tick tack tart. Jake: You obviously knew what it was called. Amir: Just give me a break, man. [singing jingle again] Give me a break, man. Give me a break-- Jake: I only have one bar left. Amir: Which means you've had three! So give me one! Give me one of your four bars. Just give me one of the four! Jake: Fine! Fine! Here. Take it. Amir: [taking bar] No thank you. You know what? On second thought, I don't really want it. I'm watching my weight -- watching it go up. [laughs] No, I'm going to toss it, though. [throws bar in trash can] Jake: Why did you do that? Amir: I had a second thought. Jake: So give it back to me! Amir: You already gave it up, okay? It was mine to throw away. I had a second thought; I didn't want it anymore; so I threw it away. What's it to ya? Jake: It was my candy bar. Amir: You gave it to me. Jake: You took it from me! Amir: I asked you for it and you gave it to me, so it was mine. I could have done whatever I want with it, alright? It's gone now. Forget it. Let it go. It's a sunk cost. Live life without the bar. Jake: Fine! Amir: [angrily yet quietly replying] Fine! Just, ughh... [talking to himself] So, if I eat it and two days later I take a crap and it goes in the toilet, he doesn't complain about that. But if I put it in the garbage now, then it's a bigger deal. I don't understand what the difference is. It's not his. It's gone. But he just latches on. He latches on and I can't let it get to me. I just have to let it go-- IT'S A FRICKIN' KIT KAT BAR, MAN! It's 99 cents! What do you want?! A quarter? You want a quarter for it, you're going to be that petty? Just forget it, man! Just pretend that I dropped it on the ground and I didn't want to eat it -- does that make you sleep at night? Jake: Why don't we just move on? Amir: Well, I'm not going to let you sit here and sulk about it, okay? Say something! You're obviously pissed! Jake: Yes, I am pissed! I said I just wish you didn't throw it away. Amir: Yeah? Well, sometimes wishes don't come true. I'm sorry. Jake: Whatever. Amir: I mean, when I was six I had a wish, too. I had a wish that everybody I knew would be dead. How's that for a wish? Jake: I don't know -- selfish? Amir: Bet you wish that one didn't come true. Jake: Yeah. Amir: You know, if you're gonna be a bitch about it, then here: [tossing Jake an unwrapped Kit Kat bar] A full Kit Kat bar. Enjoy that, ya bitch! Jake: So why'd you want one of mine? Amir: Okay, you know what? Here! [throwing more unwrapped Kit Kats at Jake] Take the whole lot! Jakey gets all the Kit Kats. Enjoy them, ya bitch! Jake: Why do you have these? Amir: Because I buy two or three a day and I save one, okay? But I bet you knew that already, didn't you, bitch? Jake: I clearly didn't. Amir: Alright, you know what? Here's an idea: We go bar for bar -- see who can eat the most candy. Jake: You just said you were watching your weight. Amir: Yeah! Watching it go up! Jake: So, that wasn't even a joke? Amir: [with mouth crammed full of multiple Kit Kat bars] Are we doing this contest, or not?! [END]