INTRO Amir - Hey, you're watching Amir and Jake. Jake - What? Amir - Let's just switch it up a little. Jake - (scoffs) No. Amir - OW. (Amir approaches Jake's desk) AMIR: Blato! JAKE: New business card. Nice. AMIR: Not just any business card. My business card. JAKE: I know. I didn't think you're were carrying around-- AMIR: My business card. JAKE: --like some random business card. AMIR: My business card. JAKE: OK, it's blank. AMIR: (chuckles) It's blank, or is it invisible ink? (pulls out a squirt bottle and sprays card, then starts waving it around) Here we go. (pause) Suddenly, the card comes to life. JAKE: Not ye- AMIR: Not yet! (still shaking card) Not yet. JAKE: Don't get mad, you're getting really defensive really early on in this conversation. AMIR: It's already starting to work. (continue shaking card throughout conversation) JAKE: Just chill out. It's not actually. It's pretty slow, it's-- AMIR: It's fast! OK, if you know anything about invisible ink. JAKE: I don't. AMIR: Well I do and this is fast. This is considered lightning fast in the industry. Starting to-- JAKE: OK, well, yeah, I understand that you carry around a spritzer all the time but how is anybody else-- AMIR: What? JAKE: I'm in the middle of talking, don't say 'what' to interrupt me, OK? You're-- AMIR: You're mumbling, OK? (makes silly noises with his mouth) JAKE: --you're getting, you're getting defensive. How is anybody else going to know to spray the card with water? AMIR: Well, it's not with water, OK? It's vinegar. (laughs) And the instructions are written on the card once you've spritz it, oooh, that was tough. JAKE: Yeah, that actually was tough. And by the way, nothing has appeared on the card yet. AMIR: OK, you're just being a dick because you think this was a waste of $3000. JAKE: I would have thought it was a waste if you got it for free. AMIR: A good business card should one: display pertinent information prominently, two: be simple and clean and three: be easily readable. JAKE: I agree. It's weird that you know all that stuff-- AMIR: A GREAT business card should-- JAKE: OK. AMIR: --one: make you earn that information, two: invisible ink, preferable but not necessary-- JAKE: Definitely not necessary. AMIR: --and three: leave a lot to the imagination. JAKE: Nothing showed up yet. AMIR: It's showing up. JAKE: Try not shaking it. AMIR: (stops shaking the card) OK, you know what? You have a lot of dumb ideas too but I don't call you out on them because you're my friend and at least you're trying and I want to see you happy. JAKE: All right. You're right. I'm sorry. Hey look, it just showed up. (reads) Tweet at me bitches, you know a player when you see one. AMIR: Yeah. JAKE: Doesn't have your twitter name. AMIR: (pause) Which is fine, right? JAKE: That's fine. That's good. That's cool. All right, good talk. What do you say we start the day, huh? AMIR: Absolutely. JAKE: Let's do it. AMIR: Lunch? JAKE: Uh, it's still 9AM but . . . all right, good talk. Take it easy man. AMIR: (softly) Take it easy man. (pause) This could actually work-- JAKE: Go to your desk, man. (Amir goes to his desk) AMIR: Whoa, just got my first business card tweet. JAKE: Hey, really? AMIR: Yeah, it's from you. (chuckles) JAKE: What's it say, man? AMIR: (reading) Sick card, bro. Wanna do lunch? JAKE: So what do you say? We'll get like a business lunch or something. AMIR: Don't fucking pity me! THE END. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMlfn2xgAxc