[Jake and Amir are sitting at their desks, Amir stares at Jake's computer] AMIR: Whoa! I just realized that if I stare at the back of your computer for three hours, it looks like two elephants masturbating. [Sarah rolls in on her chair] SARAH: Hey Jake, are you busy? AMIR: Yes JAKE: No, actually SARAH: I found this really cool friendship quiz, I thought we could take it AMIR: Oh, that's super cool, why don't i save you ten minutes and let you know that Jake and I are BBFs, so it doesn't even matter if you take that quiz JAKE: Why don't you shut up for 10 minutes and i can tell you that Sarah and I have been best friends since we were little, and she's gonna know everything, alright, ready? SARAH: Yes JAKE: What is my favourite movie? AMIR: Shawshank redemption JAKE: Okay, you're ruining it for Sarah, right? SARAH: But i knew that JAKE: Of course, it's easy SARAH: Yeah JAKE: What's my favourite food? AMIR: annie's macaroni and cheese, Jake, annie's macaroni and cheese JAKE: It's annie's macaroni and cheese, good job, interrupting SARAH: I mean, I was gonna say straight cheese AMIR: Well, you we're gonna be straight wrong! So JAKE: Str-Straight close AMIR: Straight close, but not straight cigar (mumbles), Jake JAKE: Here's one, and Amir's gonna shut up, what's my moms job? SARAH: Oh, I know this, she's a teacher JAKE: Exactly AMIR: Incorrect, she was a teacher, but two weeks ago she arrived at school completely stoned, so they fired her SARAH: Jesus! JAKE: ffFUCK, HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?! AMIR: She called me? JAKE: She called you? AMIR: Well, she called you but I picked up, you know, my voice sounds a lot like yours when I go like this - Hey mom, tell me more about dad SARAH: God, that's so creepy, oh listen, don't freak out, just because he knows everything about you, doesn't matter, it has to go both ways AMIR: Jake know's everything on that list about me, don't you Jake? don't you Jake? don't you Jake? JAKE: IM THINKING! [goes into flashbacks] JAKE: What is my favourite movie? AMIR: Jake, can you? Tell them what it is JAKE: It's freddy got fingered AMIR: Thank you JAKE: What's my favourite food? AMIR: Got a chicken nugget in my pocket GAAH JAKE: What's my mom's job? AMIR: She's a registered nurse, registered nurse, nurse, nurse, nurse, nurse [goes into the present again, with a close-up of Jake's face] JAKE: Oh my god, we are BFFs! THE END