(caption - Jake and Amir Behind the Scenes of "The Collegehumor Show" Sundays at 9:30/8:30c on MTV) AMIR: All right, we are here with Sarah Schneider, and she is an actress and a writetress on the show. JAKE: That's either a cute joke or you're a complete retard. AMIR: Yup. JAKE: OK, so you're kind of like the guy's girl, right? SARAH: That's right, I'm like one of the guys. AMIR: Yeah, which guy's girl are you? SARAH: Th-that's not what that phrase means. AMIR: Spoiler alert! SARAh: That's-- (Amir and Jake are with Vinny) JAKE: OK, we're here with Vincent Peone, who is our D.P. AMIR: Yes, and everyone knows D.P. stands for (holds up a notepad and reads off it) Director of Photography. So, yup. (chuckles) JAKE: So everyone knows that? AMIR: And he is-- JAKE: Anyone else could have memorized that. AMIR: He's in charge of the lightning on the set. So. VINNY: Uh, lighting. AMIR: Yes. AMIR: But what's--First question. What's the difference between thunder and lighting? JAKE: (softly) Sometimes we have to get to work as early as like 7AM to shoot, so a lot of us nap during the day to catch up on sleep. AMIR: Let's wake one of them up right now. (goes over to couch) JAKE: (softly) We're not going to do that. No-No, no, no, no. AMIR: Streeter, Streeter we want to interview-- (Streeter gets up and pulls Amir to the floor, then begins strangling him) STREETER: Don't wake the f**king bear! JAKE: OK, hold on! (Jake tries breaking them up) STREETER: Don't wake the bear! (Streeter is on top of Amir on the floor, Jake beside them) STREETER: (as Jake is talking) You. Don't. Wake. Me. JAKE: (to cameraman) Put down the f**king camera and help! (Jeff approaches Amir and Jake from behind) JAKE: Oh! Ooo, Jeff Rubin, tell me what is it like-- AMIR: N-n-no, you tell me what is it like ruining every single take you are in? Sucking the life out of an otherwise great experience from everyone else? JEFF: What-what are you guys--What is this? (back to Streeter on top of Amir strangling him) AMIR: You can cut. STREETER: You don't wake the bear! AMIR: You can cut. You can cut. You can cut. You can cut. You can cut. (Streeter starts crying with his hands still around Amir's neck) AMIR: It's OK, he's OK, he's OK. VINNY: Well, uh, you know, we're constantly faces adverse conditions with the win-- AMIR: Have you ever been struck by lighting? VINNY: (pause) Yeah. Uh, yes. Umm, I-I guess when I walk into a lighting set up that's profound to me, it-it sometimes is-- AMIR: I mean just like straight up a lighting bolt just (imitates getting struck by lightning) JAKE: He gave you an out and you didn't take it. AMIR: What? (back to Sarah) AMIR: I hate it when you look at me like I'm stupid. JAKE: I've never looked at you like you weren't stupid. (Just Jake and Sarah) JAKE: All right, Sarah. Who is your favorite person to be in scenes with? SARAH: Ooo-- AMIR (off camera): Come on, let's go, Jake. JAKE: One second. AMIR: Let's go. SARAH: I'm trying to answer your question here. AMIR: We've already got another interview lined up with someone better. AMIR (still off camera): We can't use this. I'm telling you right now we're not going to use this. SARAH: (to Jake) Why do you hang out with him all the time? JAKE: I don't hang out with him all the time. AMIR: Yes we do. (back to Vinny) AMIR: So basically you're just the guy that holds the camera, right? VINNY: Uh, not at all, I'm actually-- JAKE: He does a lot more. VINNY: --I'm responsible for the visual-- AMIR: Vinny Peone, a glorified human tripod. VINNY: I'm responsible for the visual story telling. JAKE: He's responsible for the vi-- (Amir motions to camera to cut) THE END. http://www.collegehumor.com/video/3890459/jake-and-amir-behind-the-scenes-of-the-collegehumor-show-part-2