(Jake and Amir sitting at their desks, across from each other) AMIR: So drunk... JAKE: You're drunk right now? AMIR: Last night I got so drunk... JAKE: Ah... you... nice. AMIR: I had like, so many beers. JAKE: How many? How many is so many? AMIR: I was like retarded... JAKE: How many beers did you have? AMIR: (silent laugh)... Sixty. JAKE: Sixty? That's... Sixty is way too many. That's not a believable number at all. AMIR: (Getting nervous, rubbing his chin) I know... How many is believable? JAKE: Twelve? AMIR: I know, twelve... I had twelve. JAKE (in the background): I had twelve? AMIR: I had twelve beers, yeah. Ssstupid afterwards. JAKE: Yeah, I don't believe you. I don't think you know... I don't think you've had a beer, ever. AMIR (laughing nervously): Yeah, right. I drink it all the time. JAKE: So what does it taste like? AMIR: Sweet. So sweet. Like sug-- What? JAKE: It's not sweet. Like sugar? AMIR (laughing even more nervously): No! (serious) No. It tastes not like sugar, it tastes like the opposite. JAKE: Closer. Like what? AMIR: Just like you're drinking... like you're drinking a sourdough baguette. JAKE: No, no, it doesn... (AMIR, in the background: No? No!) It's not that either. AMIR: Here's two... That was two things it doesn't taste like. JAKE: Exactly, so what does it taste like? AMIR: It tastes... you know... Beer is water, it's like a fermentable starch source, alright?... JAKE: Ok... (starts typing on computer) AMIR (in the background): ...like malted barley, yeast, it's common for flavoring to be added-- JAKE (interrupting Amir, while reading on the monitor): ...like hops, a mixture of starch sources to be used with a secondary starch source. (laughs) Yeah. Uh, you're on the wikipedia page. I'm reading it too. AMIR: You are? JAKE (continues reading): Rice and sugar often being turned into junk, especially when used with... AMIR (interrupting Jake): Uh, yeah, I see where you're at, but I wasn't reading it. JAKE: You see where I'm at, but you weren't reading it? AMIR: Why, what are you, what're you doing tonight? How many beers are you gonna have? I'll double it, easy. JAKE: I'm not drinking tonight, I have to take my cat to the vet, actually. AMIR: Take a drink before or after, whatever you drink-- JAKE: She's having, uh, she has heart palpitations and they might have to put her down. AMIR: ...So sick. End