INTRO A: Hey, you're watching Jake and Amir, and I can dunk a basketball. J: No one will believe that. A: Well, they don't have to. J: ...what? [Jake is at work when he gets a Skype call. Disgruntled, he answers it.] A: [singing dancing] California girls, they're unforgettable; daisy dukes, bikinis on top - J: [interrupting] How was your aunt's funeral? A: Fine. 'Sup with you? J: Not much man, I'm at work. A: Enough about me; let's talk about you. J: ...We were. A: [in a high-pitched voice] Check your inbox! J: [clicks his mouse] Wow, a plane ticket. A: Can't wait to see you, bro. [lifts up fist to the camera as if to ask Jake to props him via Skype] J: I'm not going anywhere. [puts his fist up to the camera, doing props with Amir] A: Nowhere but up...ON A PLANE! [imitates a plane taking off and crashing with his hand] J: Jesus Christ, this is a first-class ticket. A: Only the best... [cups his hands around his mouth] for the best. [laughs] J: You shouldn't have, and not in the polite way. A: Fully 180-degree reclinable seats, four meals... J: [incredulous] Four meals?! A: Yeah, one per layover. J: Wow, yeah; you have me flying through Singapore. A: [making a stereotypical impersonation of an Asian person] Oh!! Taseito!! Hee hee hee!! [puts up the peace sign] J: Aren't you in Queens? 'Cause I could take the subway. A: Subways do NOT have in-flight HD TV, bro. J: They don't have in-flight anything. A: That's the Lustanza difference. [winks] J: How did you think I was going to get TO the airport? A: Subway. Okay, I'm not paying for your cab; I'm already $2250 down in the hole. And that's cash I DON'T have. [knock on the Amir's door] A: Can you hold on a second? [Amir leaves the camera so we only hear his voice and Jake's reactions] A: What do you want, Mom?...Okay, I don't wanna SAY goodbye to Aunt Harold! She has a mustache! [higher pitch] Get OFF of me!! YOU'RE HURTING MEEEEE!! [Jake hears a slapping noise, winces] A: ...Ow! [Amir sits back down, holding his cheek] A: Hey dude, can I actually call you back? J: We can definitely get off the phone; you don't have to worry about calling me back. A: All right, bye. [tries to end the call, but fails] Arrrrrgghhh...uuuuuurrrrgggghhh, son of a bleach!! This frickin' krills!!! Uuuuurrrrggghhhh...gosh darnit [incoherent moans] J: [watching uncomfortably] Dude, you have to hang up. You have to hang up; press the X. A: [looks at the camera] ...What are you still doing here? Your flight's in 20 minutes. And take the subway!! END