Amir: You're watching Jake and Amir... on television! Jake: No, they're not. Amir: WHY NOT? Amir: Hey, are we okay? Jake: ...What? Amir: You and me. Are we okay? Jake: Sure. Amir: Just... There's been, like, yeah, fighting and tension between us for the past, like, um... five years. I want to know if we're kosher. Jake: We're fine. Amir: We're good? Jake: We're fine! You... You asked if we were okay, I said we're fine, now you wanna know if we're good. Amir: Yeah, this is like—this is exactly what I'm talking about; like, this tension. I can't—yeah, I don't know. I just wanna know straight up, once and for all, point-Matt-LeBlanc, are we great? Jake: Let's talk about this after work. Okay? Amir: Cool. Jake: Cool. Amir: (inhaling) ...Cool. It's, yeah... (pause) Can do. [Amir chuckles.] Jake: All right. Amir: What? Jake: I said, All right. Amir: (shaking head) Eh... (pause) Uhh— Jake: Oh my god, just say it [Amir: I'm j—] if you're gonna say something, say it. Amir: I'm just saying that I won't be able to work unless I know that we're good. Jake: We're cool, okay? Amir: Whoa, now we're cool, okay? Jake: You're mad? Amir: You're brushing me off, and that's fine, okay, if we're good, then that's fine. Jake: I said we'll talk about it after work. Amir: After work. After—when is after work? That doesn't mean anything, okay; if I—if I left it up to you, you'll keep pushing it and pushing it and pushing, and we'll never talk about if we're okay or not. Jake: What do you mean, When is after work? It's 6 PM! 6 PM! That's after work; there's no mystery here, okay? And don't accuse me of pushing it and pushing it and pushing it, 'cause this is the first time you've brought it up. Amir: Humor me. Okay, talk to me now, huh? Talk to me now. We can talk after work; doesn't mean we can't talk now! Jake: It does imply that. Amir: Talk to me. Jake: I am talking to you. Amir: How good are we, huh? You think we're good? How good are we? Put your money where your mouth is. Tell me how good we are. Jake: I didn't say we were good. A minute ago, you asked me if we were okay, I said we were fine, and now you're demanding to know how good we are. Amir: (sniffs) Wanna know what I think? Jake: No. Amir: I think we're awful. Jake: Me too. Amir: Just kidding. I think we're great; what do you mean, Me too? What was that? I said, Just kidding, but before I did that, you said, Me too, when I said we were awful. Jake: Okay, I was kidding too. Amir: (smiling) You were kidding too. Jake: Yeah... Amir: (chuckling) Time to seal the deal! [Amir gets up to embrace Jake.] Jake: Hey... I wasn't kidding. Oh... [Jake braces himself and holds back Amir while he tries to hug Jake.] Amir: Y'know, I wasn't even sure that we were good, but you reassured me every step of the way! Jake: Okay... Amir: And if you would've told me two minutes ago that we'd end that conversation in a hug, especially one like this that we both like equally, no way in hell, bruh; I would've called you a coward and a fool. Jake: A little too tight, right now, okay? Amir: Yeah, and I know we would never let go unless we felt that this hug came to a natural end— [Jake grunts and finally pushes Amir away.] Amir: Ow! You accidentally hurt my neck. THE END