(Jake and Amir sitting at their desks, across from each other)
AMIR: So drunk...
JAKE: You're drunk right now?
AMIR: Last night I got so drunk...
JAKE: Ah... you... nice.
AMIR: I had like, so many beers.
JAKE: How many? How many is so many?
AMIR: I was like retarded...
JAKE: How many beers did you have?
AMIR: (silent laugh)... Sixty.
JAKE: Sixty? That's... Sixty is way too many. That's not a believable number at all.
AMIR: (Getting nervous, rubbing his chin) I know... How many is believable?
JAKE: Twelve?
AMIR: I know, twelve... I had twelve.
JAKE (in the background): I had twelve?
AMIR: I had twelve beers, yeah. Ssstupid afterwards.
JAKE: Yeah, I don't believe you. I don't think you know... I don't think you've had a beer, ever.
AMIR (laughing nervously): Yeah, right. I drink it all the time.
JAKE: So what does it taste like?
AMIR: Sweet. So sweet. Like sug-- What?
JAKE: It's not sweet. Like sugar?
AMIR (laughing even more nervously): No! (serious) No. It tastes not like sugar, it tastes like the opposite.
JAKE: Closer. Like what?
AMIR: Just like you're drinking... like you're drinking a sourdough baguette.
JAKE: No, no, it doesn... (AMIR, in the background: No? No!) It's not that either.
AMIR: Here's two... That was two things it doesn't taste like.
JAKE: Exactly, so what does it taste like?
AMIR: It tastes... you know... Beer is water, it's like a fermentable starch source, alright?...
JAKE: Ok... (starts typing on computer)
AMIR (in the background): ...like malted barley, yeast, it's common for flavoring to be added--
JAKE (interrupting Amir, while reading on the monitor): ...like hops, a mixture of starch sources to be used with a secondary starch source. (laughs) Yeah. Uh, you're on the wikipedia page. I'm reading it too.
AMIR: You are?
JAKE (continues reading): Rice and sugar often being turned into junk, especially when used with...
AMIR (interrupting Jake): Uh, yeah, I see where you're at, but I wasn't reading it.
JAKE: You see where I'm at, but you weren't reading it?
AMIR: Why, what are you, what're you doing tonight? How many beers are you gonna have? I'll double it, easy.
JAKE: I'm not drinking tonight, I have to take my cat to the vet, actually.
AMIR: Take a drink before or after, whatever you drink--
JAKE: She's having, uh, she has heart palpitations and they might have to put her down.
AMIR: ...So sick.
End