[Amir is sitting at his desk, and Jake's cousin Diana is sitting at Jake's desk.]
AMIR: Hey. (mimes throwing a grenade at Diana, as he does with Jake in Weapons.)
(Diana smiles and laughs.)
AMIR: (fake laughs) Don't laugh, cuz if a grenade hit you, would you just like laugh it off? No, you'd go (makes an explosion noise and mimes an explosion with his arms), right? (throws another grenade.)
(Diana goes peww! and mimes a small explosion with her hands.)
AMIR: (imitating Diana) Not pfff, this isn't a dance, come on, do...
(Diana throws a grenade at Amir.)
AMIR: No. (slightly laughing) God no. I'm sorry. I do the grenade, you do the guns, that's how it works!
(Diana mimes shooting Amir, and Amir mimes getting shot, laughing.)
(Jake enters. Diana aims her invisible guns at Jake, who flinches.)
JAKE: Come on, let's go to dinner.
AMIR: (*in a bad French/Asian accent) Ah yeas, dinnerr, sound very good to me.
JAKE: That sounds very racist.
AMIR: Ok. Um, I pre-ordered myself a 20-piece McNuggets (pronounced McNougets) from McD's (pronounced Mickidees) to go, but if they allow it where you're going I can probably go with you guys--
JAKE: Well, they don't, so, I'm sorry, you can't come.
AMIR: So you guys are going to Wendy's? I mean, they hate that shit when I do that.
DIANA: Well he can come, can't he? Why can't he come, Jake?
JAKE: He can't come because he's insane. I'm sorry, I'm just saying it.--
AMIR: Insane is how-- Insane is how we say ace or awesome.
DIANA: (to Jake) What do you mean?
JAKE: I'll show you what I mean. Here. (He walks over to Amir's desk, shoving Amir out of the way.) Move. Right off the bat I don't even have to touch anything. (He goes through the many pictures of him on Amir's laptop.)
DIANA: Oh, these are really good pictures!
JAKE: No, yeah; (AMIR: Thank you...) 200 pictures in a folder labelled January 30th. That's today!
DIANA: Jake, you look so cute in this one.
(Amir leans his head toward Jake's arm.)
JAKE: (quietly) Oh my God, don't touch me.
AMIR: Guys, listen, if this is about the 20-piece McNougets, I can get through more than that on the way to Wendy's, trust me, I have, that is not the point.
JAKE: (to Amir) You're right, that's not the point. (to Diana) I mean look, there's a video here, too; this is insane! (He plays the video, which is somehow a recording of what Jake just said (but from a side angle...).)
JAKE (VIDEO): Look, there's a video, too, I mean this is insane!
(Jake closes Amir's laptop, revealing a picture of his face behind it.)
AMIR: (annoyed) UUghhhhh, I was recordinggg, you should never close, if I am recordinggg--
JAKE: And you should never be FUCKING RECORDING ME!
DIANA: Jake, relax, it's just a joke.
JAKE: You know what, you guys go to dinner. (walking away) This is good. This is good.
AMIR: (to Diana) Dinner tonight?
JAKE: (walking out of the office, turning back to look at them) You guys are perfect for each other, you know that?
JAKE and DIANA: Jake!
END.