(at office)
AMIR: Is it bigger than a baseball bat?
JAKE: I'm not thinking of anything.
AMIR: OK, just tell me if it's larger or smaller than a toaster.
JAKE: I'M NOT PLAYING!
AMIR: Yet, when I'm thinking of stuff, you never guess, so how is that..?
JAKE: I mean, it's all the same thing, it's all-it's all me not playing.
AMIR: ...OK, good point.
JAKE: Good point. Good point. All right I'm leaving.
AMIR: Wait! Dinner tonight. You said you'd consider it.
JAKE: Sorry, I'm going home for the weekend. I can't do it.
AMIR: OK, fine.
JAKE: You're OK? You're all right with that? Usually you freak out.
AMIR: I think I can survive one night without you, Jake-y, thank you.
JAKE: Umm, don't call me that.
AMIR: (murmur)
JAKE: But I'm glad, I guess I'm glad you're OK with it.
(Jake is leaving voicemail for his mom while in transit)
JAKE: Uh, hey mom, it's Jake, uh, happy birthday, sorry I can't make it home, but uh, maybe I'll send you one of those donuts that you love from Kingpin Donuts, your favorite place in New York City. OK, well I'll see you in a few weeks, tell everyone that I miss them. Love you, bye.
(Amir is inside the house as Jake is pulling in)
AMIR: Hi, Mrs. Hurwitz, I'm so sorry about this. My name is Amir, I'm Jake's best friend, the guy he talks about at work. Um, listen. Jake's going to come here and surprise you for your birthday.
MRS. HURWITZ: He is?!
AMIR: Yeah.
MRS: HURWITZ: Oh, that is--
AMIR: Please, just shut up for a second while I explain this. Uh, we're all going to hide in the living room, I'm going to jump out and go 'Surprise!' and it's going to be Jake's favorite day, it's going to be like his birthday but it's going to be also your birthday. Honestly, I'm really sorry about this knob, can we get everyone in the living room at once? Just please, everyone - I know he has brothers and sisters, he talks about them, just come on hide.
(family makes way into living room)
SISTER: Mom, should I call dad?
AMIR: Call him if he's like right here, if he's upstairs, but otherwise if he can't get here in the next 10 seconds; he's coming! All right, everybody, is this everybody? Do you have a cat or a dog?
(Jake gets out of car and is walking to the house)
(Amir is on all fours by a table in the living room)
AMIR: All right, is everybody looking happy?
FAMILY: Yes.
AMIR: Trick question, don't fu--ah, don't fucking talk until he gets here, come on, you're going to ruin the surprise.
(Jake enters)
JAKE and AMIR: Surprise!
(Amir knocks himself out on table)
JAKE: Oh. God. What is he doing here? Who let him in?
(Jake and Amir and Jake's brother are sitting on couch, Amir with a camera in one hand and ice against his head in the other looking at a photo album)
AMIR: Uh, which one is Jake?
JAKE: Don't tell him.
AMIR: Thank you, next.
(puts ice down and takes the donut Jake is holding)
JAKE: That's my mom's!
AMIR: (mouth full) She said I could have it. (to brother) Keep going. Don't stop. Just don't stop until I say so.
THE END.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Tb6sUTsKiQ